fallendrops

2009-08-05T15:18:00.001+08:00

SCHOOL IS STARTINGGGGG..... =X

oh no. this is terrible.
school's starting in less than a week.
how can this possibly happen!

ah wells. my timetable is half done. literally. i only have 3 courses registered (12au) and another 3 on waitlist (9au) which i really hope i can get all of them. but it's hard. hmm. i have audition for AAI 182 tml! and i have no idea wad the audition is going to be like. singing? playing? theory?? oh no. wad am i supposed to do! maybe i should prepare a piano piece at least huh. maybe i should. die. no song to play.

so yep i'm going down alllll the way to pulau ntu tml at ard 11 altho the audition is at 1.30pm. this is due to the fact that aunty shermin and aunty sharmaine wants to go get the ntu free planner. yep note that keyword. hopefully i can get it this year. planner, jacket, file and everything whee~ since shar and i donwan to appear tooo aunty to the student union, we decided not to email and ask blatantly like:

"hey when are you all giving out the planner?? and where? wad else is free huh huh?"

so, we'll jus go peng peng yun qi. go figure out where they are and get it. yep :) anyone else wants to join the aunty activity raise your hand! =D

well, nth special happened this week. ok actually alot happened. NTUCCF FOC went well. altho i wouldnt say it was my happiest camp ever. i did learn alot from it tho. but since some unfortunate events occcured, it really caused much depression. sigh. i'm jus glad it's over. and i really do thank God for His healing. and ho sher min definitely donwan anything like this to ever ever happen again.
zettai.

it was a tough week to go thru. really tough. but i thank those who were concerned :) and i thank you for recovering. above all, i thank You, Lord, for answering my prayers, in Your time.

主恩信实

2009-07-19T17:18:00.005+08:00

LOVES LOVES LOVES <33

i had the best stayover in my life=)) i love you AHs!
but that night also marked the most hilarious phototaking experience in my life. oh man. i cant stop laughing. i'll put up more photos here later! it's hilarious i tell you. HILARIOUS. but at least we learn that we six cannot take multishot photos. we should have been patient from the very start. we may have saved hours. goodness. bui ta han.

we met at 11 plus at lele's wonderful house and whispered the rest of the night. but as everyone can imagine, 6 girls can neva whisper for long. soon it was more of a muffled market. haha :D well as usual, i slept rather early hehe. but suprisingly i slept rather well. thanks to lele's great bed and blankie yays!

anyways then we went to cycle the next morning. ok no, afternoon. we officially woke up at 12pm you see. yeah. had breakfast and then headed out to ECP to cycle. we rented the bicycles for 2 hours but we only actually cycled for like erm, 40 min??? haha! jus about like 200m from the rental shop we went to rest at carl's junior for like rather long. haha. den we went another like 400m and then to take photos for like half hour. den laugh laugh laugh. stop to adjust hair. stop to ask about bikes. stop to ans phone. blah blah =X when we know it, it was about time to return the bikes :DD hee.

then i realised i had 6 msgs and 2 missed calls. i realised that my phone picked up the indonesia's signal and my phone became autoroming ._." my dad sent me a msg saying: "where are you? why is your phone overseas tone??" oh man. when i called back with beth's phone my dad was like " i thot you got kidnapped to indonesia!!" hurhur :D

anyways we ate back the calories we lost almost immediately since we headed out to a icecream stall for icecream and then ate chocolate and fruit juice for lunch. hahaha. how am i ever going to lose weight like this? oh man.

haha ok enough said. photos speak louder than words:) with photos, i can show my happy moments and my loves. tata~

this is the "happiness" emotion, i shan't try uploading the "anger", "sorrow" and "joy" one haha. it's too hilarious. i like this best!

resting at carl's junior:)

this is the most hilarious multishot phototaking ever (watch beth):

shot one; everything is still going okay

shot two; beth and i are lost for poses already

shot three; beth and i goes hilarious

shot four; beth is nowhere sane while i try my best to stay straight

i'm simply amazed by the other three's expertise in posing. my gdness. to stay sane for four shots. i'm amazed. amazed~

2009-07-06T00:00:00.002+08:00

OHO. NO MORE AUDIENCE ='(

eek no one reads my blog anymore!! haha. nvm thats ok. for now, my blogskin is too cute for me to resist updating haha so here i am posting the second entry for wad seems like years.

TODAY IS YOUTH DAY. and tml is holiday-in-liew tho it doesnt affect me in any way. haha. i'm still at home as usual. hahaha. and i jus finished sending many emails. ok not many many. but a few long ones. haha. youth day has been great. i'm really glad the theory class didnt do badly at all! proud of me students :D yayy. i'm going to officially mark the papers tml and see jus how well they did heee.

i jus watched war of the worlds. when i first switched on the tv i thot: OH MAN. IT'S SO LIKE THE PRESENT SCENARIO. cos there was lightning and everything. so it was like the show. lightning and aliens. then i watched and watched, gripping the edge of my sofa. and my eyes were pain by the mid of the show. cos i kept on staring and staring at the tv. it's too exciting to lift your eyes of it. gdness. but at the end of the show i was like: huh o.O over alr ah? eee so no explanation can. tsktsk. could have done a bit more. maybe there's war of the worlds 2?? but it's been 4 years isnt it. hmm.

hehs ok. i better go slp. tml mus do sth productive. shouldnt slack too much haha. kk den. gd nites everyone!

HAPPY YOUTH DAY :)

ALIVE AND KICKING

2009-07-03T15:40:00.006+08:00

ALIVE AND KICKING
heyheys=)

i cant believe i'm actually updating. wow. after i saw how dead my blog was i thot it would be really mean of me to leave it as it is hee :D so here i am updating! whee~

nth's changed much. ok maybe yes much has changed but they're not exactly exciting events to be singled out or anything. school's jus the way it is but now's not the time to talk about school cos it's HOLIDAYS :] mmph.

but then again i'm super busy with cca stuff now that i'm in ccf main committee. jus had my first meeting with my subcomm and it went really well. Thank God! it's the first time i wrote an agenda and chaired a meeting! three cheers to new experience~ haha. i love my subcomm. they're jus ppl i can work really comfortably with and i'm glad they're willing to help me out:) i really do nid all the help i can get haha.

besides ccf stuff, another exciting thing that happened is probably my church's june camp! i had alot of fun, despite the fact that it was jus as busy as before and i could use a bit more free free time haha. but i managed to buy stuff that i liked. yays. so i'm not complaining ^^ i shall put some of the nice photos here heee.

there are so many things to say but most of them are jus meant to be experienced instead of told. but wadeva it is, i thank God for always being there. there's absolutely no one else except Him who can promise to always watch over you :) so THANK YOU LORD. for being with me. and rongyang too. and everyone else. ARIGATO. and also i'm jus really happy with my results last sem. it couldnt have been more consoling.

SO
looking forward to wad's ahead and more experiences to come :)
tata!

timetable finally set!!

2009-01-14T20:31:00.002+08:00

haha i finally set my timetable for the semester...well actually. i dropped jap. which is HMJ1. sadded. i had no choice. i talked to my mentor, professors, friends, seniors etc. all think that it's only wise to drop jap now. ah wells. i can always take it agn eh? x) i hope. i'm sure if God lets me, i'll be able to finish jap de=)

anw now there is another problem. which is overseas exchange. I WANT GO JAPAN!! haha. or i can go UK. jus no USA pls. hahaha xD well at first i thot of going this year. but hmm the registration deadline is tml so haha, indecisive me will never be able to come up with a decision now hohoho. so yepp. it's next year den. and i want go GSS (global summer studies), meaning you go for say a month or a lil more. i not so keen on INSTEP (no idea wad it stands for) which is like one semester, or 3 plus months. haha. i cant bear to leave singapore too long haha. no la. jus don dare leh. sighh. so ya. one month's enough. right?

i jus had my first choir module lesson. well it's nice la. but i din know anyone in my section so very lonely leh. sighh. and the teacher teach very slow. so boring. haha. nvm hope it gets better=) maybe i can take GV17 nex sem!! oohoo! hope i dare to tho. haha.

kk i mus go for dinner already. HUNGRY!! see ya everybody. study hard or work hard! =)

i finally got HMJ1!!

2009-01-03T20:01:00.002+08:00

in case you're wondering, that's the course code for level 1 japanese and i got it for next sem's timetable!! i'm so happy. i can finally learn jap officially haha. and improve my written and reading competency! yay.

but den agn i have another problem. a major headache sia. this is wad's happening. i have 4 core modules. and i signed up for 3 electives. jap, choir and cognitive linguistics. that totals up to 25 au which is exceeding the limit of 21 au that the school allows. well if i get into choir that is. i have to go thru an audition. argh. i have 2 alternatives:

1. appeal to overload this sem (i think it's possible)
2. drop an elective.

option 2 is terrible. it's realllllly difficult to get jap. my fren registered that course with me at the same time and she din get it! i cant jus give it up!! and i cant give up choir, cos i nid it to minor my music!! argh. and i don want drop cognitive as well, i nid 12 in 4 yrs you know. i nid one every sem at least. sigh. howww. >_<

confusing eh. duno wad to do haha. well anw let's talk bout today! went out to err marina square with some jc ppl. haha. seriously a few ppl only. got to see siewfun yay!! too bad the other girls couldnt make it. it'll be great if they could come =( anw we had lunch but i couldnt stay. had to go church. sighh.

SCHOOL'S STARTING SOON!! ahhhh...die die die =X no momentum to study haha. quite excited to try my new clothes la but. i want to slack leh hahaha. DAME YO, SHERMIN! GAMBATTE NAH!

oh and crunchyroll has removed all the videos!! goodness. i'm devastated. DEVASTATED I TELL YOU. ayerr. nvm! that does not extinguish the flame of passion i have for anime!:DD

okok that's all for today ppl! see ya!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!:)

how long am i going to run from it.

my poor zero-kun :(

2008-12-30T20:38:00.002+08:00

my heart aches for you!!

sighh...i cant believe yuuki bears to jus leave zero like that. ahh!! Matsuri Hino-san, pls don let the manga end likewise okay? sabishii yo.. sighh.

ANYWAY. i'm back to blogging ppl!! haha. cos i found a new skin! yay :D one that i love. and also i thot it's not very nice to let it rot. haha. 2008's ending alr. a rather simple year has passed with nothing much exciting happened. one sem of uni life has gone too. and... i'm SUPER happy bout my results=)) very very happy. Thank Lord for this gift! i never expect myself to ever get these grades. hopefully i can keep it up, improve too, in sem 2 and the many sems ahead.

hopefully next sem i can get to learn jap officially. haha. not jus thru anime like vampire knight. which has very very sadly and devestatedly ended. with no more zero-kun to accompany me, life is going to be dull :( haha.

school's starting soon!! oh no. i don really want to start studying agn. sigh. oh wells. nvm den. i shall jus look forward to one last sem of hall life and also to take on new modules! :) stay positive man. haha.

kk i need to go watch episode 13 once agn. haha. minna-san, merry chirstmas and happy new year!!

projs. assts. and vampire knight.

2008-10-16T23:07:00.001+08:00

today i learnt that sentences can be simple, compound or complex. having 7 different types of simple. monotransitive, ditransitive, complex-transitive, obligatory Ao, obligatory As, copulative and intransitive. And there are different kinds of subordinate clauses and main clauses. and realised that subordinate clauses can be nested within the main ones and take on 7 different kinds of properties, namely the time, space, manner, reason, purpose, condition and concession. which takes on either the finite or non finite state.

sometimes i really wonder
"do i really nid to know these??"
spare me man
>_>

ok as you can see my brain is fried hahaha... this is only like 1/8 of wad i learnt tdy. jus cant really bear to type out everything. bleah, ah wells. now i would see a pc of writing really differently x)

ahh tests are coming. i mean exams. and i'm stil rushing projects and wad not. have a phonetics assignment coming. where i'm supposed to transcribe a sound file to phonetics. whee~ like example

dɪs ɪs fʌnɛtɪks

haha should be able to read it eh. well well i should go do work. gotta pick up clothes too. anyways go watch vampire knight guilty!!! hahaha =) nites everyone!
share with you all my shuai ge:

okaerinasai zero!!

2008-10-13T23:18:00.000+08:00

oh man oh man! vampire knight guilty is out. and i'm super happy!! =) haha. i wonder how many out there really understand my high-ness. seriously. haha x)happyness.

AH OH BY THE WAY, PLS NOTE:
I DO NOT WANT KURAN KANAME TO BE WITH YUUKI.
I WANT ZERO TO BE WITH YUUKI!!

ya. i only use this skin cos it's irrestably nice. yay. so i'm currently looking for a bkg that has yuuki x zero. then i'll stick it over kuran's face. hohoho x) yay. happyness.

ok one thing that made me happy tdy is that we petitioned and managed to get our essay deadline postponed!! wahahha! suteki da ne?^^ anw tdy we watched a show during lect. called "sound and fury", about the deaf community and the hearing world. how the two world clashes and conflicts when they intertwine cruelly. sighh. it was really sad. i understand the deaf ppl's emotions. how they see the introduction of the cochlear implant as an insult and betrayal. and how the hearing community sees it as the only right choice. sigh. our teacher showed it to us and it made all of us emo aft that. i cried lor sobs =( during lect hahaha. but no no i wasnt the only one. my frens were simply mad at the deaf parents tho. sigh. i feel for them.

ah wells that's the report for tdy haha. i should be doing my tuts. and my asst that's due this fri. urgh. okok i better go. take care everyone!! cya=)

oh.
watch VK GUILTY!!
loves.

sayonara allen-kun, konichiwa zero:)

2008-10-04T16:56:00.001+08:00

d.gray-man has ended!! ahh!! i couldnt believe it really. when i saw the preview last week saying it ends ytd, i was devasatated. DEVASTATED I TELL YOU. when i saw the "Fin" at the end ytd, the truth sinked in. sighhhh... hopefully it comes out soon :( i cant wait.

neo angelique abyss has feenished too. sighh. it ended so weirdly. so abrupt?? wad about the romance part? haha. hopefully there is a third season tho. and and shakugan no shana too!! i'm watching the season two now. finished one alreadie ^^

oh oh but then again, zero-kun is back!! okairinasai =) haha. vampire knight guilty is here. ok tml that is. cant wait too. manga is getting more and more confusing and saddening. i hope the anime drawing is better this time. haha. at least have smoother movements that is. i cant wait!! HOHOHO :P

well well as you can see, i'm not addicted to anime at all. nopenope. haha. well homework, projects and assignments are piling up. sighh. one assignment down. one proj half down. one untouched, one cannot touch. hahaha. oh wells. haha and i also adopted the pet thingy at facebook hohoho. so cute. haha.

okok i should do sth productive eh. k la i should leave. take care everybody! go watch vk!

tadaima~

2008-09-29T22:23:00.000+08:00

i changed my blogskin once again haha. i jus love the colour and picture. although i think the font and stuff can use a bit of improvement. but i still like it=) oh and the song is also fantastic. yep. an old song. but i still love it. very deep-thought-ish. hahaha x)

anyway school has once again reopened. after one week of supposedly recess week. ok la i can say i enjoyed myself during this wk. enjoying the 24/7 warm water bath, the tv (simply splendid), and most importantly, my soft comfy bed, and oh most most impt, my pianoooooo xD and yay i composed another song wahaha!

i got alot of proj and assignments you know :( poor me. sighh. but i think all uni students are liddat ba....sad. i have this individual assignment thing. 2000 word essay that nids at least 10 references. oh man. how to read TEN readings. urgh. the amount of time i take to read one is like long enough for a beansprout to grow from its seed to a full plant la. oh man.

well well i should go start reading den eh. haha. k den everyone, take care!!

2008-09-10T15:19:00.001+08:00

this is enough to make my day after a stoopid test which i'm prolly gonna do badly. i have a qn that goes like:

many reasearchers have tried to teach human lang to animals like kanzi. kanzi was a...:
a) a chimpanzee which...
b) a gorilla which...
c) a bonobo monkey which...

like hello?? o.O! would i go memorise wad monkey that kanzi thing is?? omg. sigh. anw i finished bokura. and it's super sad. sigh. a promise eh? sigh.

2008-09-08T20:43:00.001+08:00

bokura ga ita

oh man as you can see i have yet another anime i'm addicted to. this is really gd. i mean really. i'd actually put it on par with d.gray-man and vampire knight. tho honestly this touches me more than either of the two. it's simple yet complicated. touches on the affairs of our fickle hearts as well as our longing souls...ahh. love. how it never comes alone without pain.

anyway all of you who reads this ought to watch it. OUGHT TO. ok maybe it's a lil hard for the guys to understand. but you'll be touched still.

ok i'm currently in the busiest week of uni life since 4 aug. i have 2 tests coming this wk on wed and thurs. i have a 20% group assignment due in 7 days. and i have to attend gospel rally fr the 10-14 sept. and how am i supposed to cope with all these?? i've got like thousands of readings to do for all of these. gdness. Lord, help me...

sigh ok i'm not exactly doing much to lessen the workload by blogging eh. haiyo. but nvm la i'm taking a break haha. jus finished group discussion. sigh. going to bathe soon. okok i better stop procrastinating!! alrighty den=) see ya all! have a nice wk!

2008-08-26T23:12:00.000+08:00

HEllO PEOPlE!!

oh man i'm touched by the ppl who actually still read my blog :)) yay thank you all!

well anw, good try weibear, haha. it basically is jus that adjectives have different classes. some can take the form some cant. ok i forgot. hahaha. how is THAT supposed to stay in my brains. sigh. i'm so going to fail my exams. well now we learn more stuff. like determiners and auxillaries. and distributional frame. lemme give you an example xD

did you knowww....
nouns take the "formula" of the following:
[(Det)(Adj)__V]
and there's many more...make me wanna die.

that's for ONE course. more interesting ones are like child lang (super cute) and boring stuff like morphemes. like how undesirable is made of 3 morphemes, namely un-, desire, -able. or how cats is written as /kats/ and dogs is ... ok i cant type it on normal keyboard haha. ok nvm am i boring you guys with my course.

actually honestly i do enjoy my course alot. hahahaha x) i find all these things interesting and fascinating (and my friends find ME weird). but it IS fun, dont you think??

well tdy was great. was really stressed out ytd. and i finished a week's worth of tutorials in one go hahaha. but i still have an assignment due next mon. urgh. die x.x went for piano ensemble welcome tea tdy. managed to pass the auditions haha. but i duno whether to join it. it clashes with ccf!! ahh...sigh.

oh and the song that i newly uploaded here. listen to it k?? i love the violin part at ard 3.15... LURVE IT. makes me wanna pick up violin agn!! listen k?=)

ok i should end le haha. see ya all! and thx agn for reading :) nites.

29300808
04012004
13052006
ans me.

2008-08-22T10:57:00.000+08:00

I'M ACTUALLY UPDATING!!

haha. ok here i am updating and i think my audience have already dwindled to practically zero eh?? haha. saying hi from ntu hall :))

well life's been alright i guess. 3 weeks have passed. there were fun stuff, scary stuff and also sad stuff. but i'm counting my blessings and taking the rest as chances for me to grow ^^ staying in hall is really a great experience so far. kinda interesting to be staying with your really close fren, and having your dearest clique members jus doors away! yay. thank Lord for bring us together and making hall life that much less terrifying. it really is a miracle!!

well currently i'm at the stage of lagging behind readings and all the rubbish stuff. and i'm seriously going to get a big fat zero for my class participation. which is like 15% of my total score. that's alot can. die. well my core tutorials are relatively easier. for now that is. my elective one is crazy. it asks qns like :

"why does 'smart' the superlative and comparative morphological forms but 'beautiful' does not?"

meaning why we go smart, smarter, smartest and not beautiful beautifuler and beautifulest... >< like i know.

ah well, but it's fun haha. that is afterall wad linguists do eh. haha. we should bw proud of our singlish cos it's a proud variety of english that identifies this lil red dot!! :) so speak more singlish haha.

well that's studies. for cca i'm in ccf. jus went for piano ensemble audition. well i'll say it went well. i couldnt find a song that's less than 3 min (wad they required), so i played half a song. haha. don think they realised tho hmmm....

ahh ok i've ranted enough and it's time for me to go for lesson. i cant believe my fri is wasted on waiting for one l 2h lesson on the craft of writing. urgh. ok i'm gone=) thx for reading, if you did!

those 2 years are jus a veil to cover the truth,
you don need me.

2008-03-27T20:18:00.001+08:00

a walk to remember

i've finally applied for uni. yay. went back to hc today to get my recommendation letter for scholarship from ms lin jus now... weather so hot la. and i had to travel such a loooong distance back all alone. sigh. no one i can ask to pei me there sobs. had a lil talk with ms lin. and realised we were kinda neighbours back then before i moved house. haha. she's from chongfu primary.. ahh... i spent like 1h plus travelling there and another 1h plus back. but i only spent like 15min in sch. ayerr.

walking to the gate, the bus stop, waiting for 961. every step reminded me of you. i cant believe how much this affects me. perhaps you're right when you say i duno how to let go. indeed i dont. taking 961, seeing all the landmarks that the vehicle passed. everything. getting off at the interchange, changing to 962. every step i take. it hurts.

it's amazing how time flies. amazing how things change. amazing how things over there change. amazing how i see them unfold thru the one-way glass i see. amazing how i go through so much to find out your progress. amazing how indifference lingers. amazing how acknowledgement still exists through a broken tie. why. why is it you can say hi to my friends but not me?? why? do you really hate me so much.. cos i don. i neva did.

the tears and heartache he gave me. you're giving me jus as much. right now. how promises shatter. how eternity neva stays.

i don even know if you still read this. i don think so. altho some part of me. or rather most part of me wants you to. but i see you're happy there. then i guess. it's fine.

2008-03-18T15:31:00.000+08:00

没有理想
你要我如何前进？

been a while since i've updated and we've already gotten our results alr.. haha. i wont say i'm upset about my results. neither will i say i'm very happy. cos of the fact that my favourite subject turned out to be the worst of all. sigh. but i thank you, Lord, for helping me through the terrible examinations and giving me such wonderful grades=) i've never gotten As before and for the first time in 2 yrs, i see it ^^

i saw you that day. but you didnt. it hurts. cos you walked away.

now it's time to headache about wad course and uni to apply for. i've to give up yong siew toh cos it's too late to prepare for the auditions. and i cant make it. sigh. i seriously duno wad course to take. a few interested ones.
1. linguistics and multilingual studies in ntu.
2. psychology in ntu
3. music performance BA degree in NAFA
help me man. i cant decide.

went for mission trip the following day on 8/3 and i had a blast there! i really learned alot. and i hope they stay with me forever. may i never forget how God brings us through everything as long as we have faith in Him. He will never watch us suffer. He'll carry us on His back and by his stripes, we're healed.

also thru this 7 days, i learned more about myself. i say i've learned to put down. yes indeed i've put down the subject, but i'm too weak to put down the emotion. the fear. the hurt. i cannot forget those moments. i jus cant. i don feel the connection with anything. anyone. i've seen how ppl may be so close today. and turn their backs on you tml. teach me how. teach me.

i'm torn to whether to approach you. i don want to go back yet i want to.
do you understand wad you've done?

2008-03-05T16:21:00.000+08:00

ef ~ a tale of memories~

yoohoo everyone. sorry bout the false alarm bout hte results thing. wasnt wad i wanted anyways. sigh but at least now it's confirmed to be this fri. super anxious now. wad really bothers me is that i'm going for a mission trip this sat. one day aft i get my results. i'm jus afraid i may not make it in time for all the application and registration stuff :( i hope i can make it... sigh.

i still have zero idea of wad course to take. ok maybe a tinge of idea (i'm improving!) i'm really interested in adm still. arts design and media. but it's a definite impossibility that i can get in, given their entry requirements. cos i so cant draw. sighs. but i kinda narrowed my choice to media. the filming part. i love how angles and art delivers one ideas. really beautiful. either that or i'll jus go NAFA or lasalle to study music.

ANYWAYS there's this anime that everyone ought to watch. zettai. you all really should watch. it's definitely one of a kind. it dwells on really deep issues. it may be confusing at first but if you watch carefully and take note of their literary hidden messages you'll understand it totally. and you'll love it as much as i do. the way the portray it is jus very different. really artistic.

YOU should watch it.

ef ~a tale of memories~
do you have any memories you dont want to forget?

2008-02-22T15:37:00.000+08:00

7 days to my future

oh man it's confirmed that results are out next friday.... oh great. my fren who's from innovajc told me her ct rep received a msg from their CT that says "pls help me distribute the results to your cls next fri as i'll not be around" haha. so yea we have it. i cant believe it's finally here :S i'm so dead... oh man. i hope i don do to badlyy :(

anyways these few days have been good. i'm quite glad that i'm learning new things about teaching everyday. about tricks to get your students' attention and to keep them quiet. haha. i'm glad this teaching thing wasnt as bad as it has seemed at first. yay.

speaking about school... i ran for the parents-teachers race during sports day last fri! and i got 2nd.. haha. ok it's a relay. i kept telling them they wont want me on their team haha. but it turned out to be quite fun. yay. i got a medal. it's shermin's first medal in sports k. haha. (shh!)

i've been seriously slacking. feel quite guilty tho hahaha x) but wad to do leh haiyo. i've been anime-ing everyday. completed ccs, tsubasa movie and OVA, true tears, happiness!, digimon and rozenmaiden again. see? so many. now i'm looking for a new anime to addict to. haha. i also watched this rather hentai OVA. ok it din show anything illegal. but the content is. haha. it's about incest. chao sad that i actually cried. sigh. it's really nice. really depressing as well. sighs.

tml's a serious day! cos i'm going for the ntu talks. probably going to listen about arts education, media and sociology/psychology? hmm. go and see jiu dui le =) so hopefully tml will be fruitful. yep!

2008-02-14T15:44:00.000+08:00

HAPPY VALENTINES' DAY

it's 14 feb!:) such a nice date. but sigh, i'm spending it alone once again... lonely shermin has no one to be with her. haha x)

i still remember vividly the vdays i spent in the past. in st nicks and even in hc. how st nicks has like half day off jus for all we crazy girls to go ard giving our presents and hugs. i loved it. it's jus so heartwarming knowing that you have frens so close to you, frens who spent sleepless nights to make the presents for you. i love you all. i miss you all. now it's really spending it alone...

i see my frens and "colleagues" planning such sweet meetings with their loved one and dates, while i have no one to spend it with. it's sad when you think bout it. BUT HEY it's alright. i'm not going to go anywhere and witness the hearts flying ard outside. and so wad if i spend it alone?! haha ok i'm mad. i'm jus getting emo cos i saw sth i guess i shouldnt. but yet it was right in front of me. haha it's ok.

anyways i want to use this chance to express my love to my beloved TCS...i love ya all. mean it. ah boop bong bob pout pooh. i love ya all too. loads loads loads. like shar said, friends are probably the only ones you can love forever. and perhaps family. i'm talking about those on earth. who can promise the rest? perhaps friendship is the furthest humans should go. i mean wad's the point of going further. and get yourself hurt only. wad else.

and so. i prefer it this way.

oh and i found this other very nice jap song!! yay. it's from the anime tsubasa movie. it's super nice. altho i don like the more climatic part. i prefer the simple intro part. still it's great. i shall change my blog song laterr. or i can put two songs rite. haha yay.

ok i'm going to update soon about the really funny things i get from my students. haha. after i collate them haha. i'll let you all see wad this new generation is thinking. see ya all and wish ya all a great vday! :)

i duno wad i mus do to make you understand
cant you jus see it for yourself??

2008-02-11T15:46:00.000+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

haha oops i know that i'm super late in wishing everyone a happy lunar new year! xin nian kuai le!!

ok i found a new blogskin haha :) paiseh i've not been updating. now i've found a new template a nice song so i have the excitement to update le haha. oh but i duno wad the small words on the template says.. i din notice they were there haha. i only like the flower and scheme so tadah. anyways life's been the same.. ah wells. jus waking up early everyday to go sch as usual. to teach. haha. den coming home in the afternoon to slack. tsk tsk i'm still slacking.

oh by the way i'm still a relief teacher. haha. i EXTENDED my contract. i surprised myself yet again. cos they gave me permanent classes of p5 music and SS and one p4 music cls. oh man i tell you the upper pri is sooooo much better than the p3 and 4. at least i wont puke blood haha. but of cos i still have to relief p3 and 4 classes if the teacher not here la. but at least not permanently. YAY. praise the Lord! :))

so i have lessons everyday. teaching simple boring stuff. seeing all the different students and how strange kids today can be.. haha. i think i can even take up another part time job in the afternoon la. earn some extra $$ haha. but shermin is too lazy. she rather slack at home. whee~

sigh the hot topic these days is :
when will the results be out??

gdness, i honestly duno whether i hope it comes soon or later. i jus hope i don too badly ><> hopefully i can still meet up with them while everyone is still free haha.

alright i'm gone. cya everyone! wish you all a brilliant year ahead and great results in wadeva you do (like As....)

=)

2008-01-02T14:54:00.000+08:00

one down, nineteen more to go...

moans.
i jus came back from my very first day of work. and i signed the contract for 1 month. so 19 more working days to go!! cant wait. tdy was terrible. to me. i slacked the ENTIRE day la pls. first day of sch and the form teachers keep stealing my lessons for housekeeping. oh wells it's gd to some extent. but i kept on sitting at the staff room or going to the staff lounge. my guilt was thumping urgh.

anyway a few common phrases from the students:

1. can we play musical chairs??
2. can we play traffic light??
3. teacher teacher! he push the table...
4. teacher teacher! he kick me...
5. teacher teacher! he say he want to sing...
and many more. but the most popular phrase of the day is.... *drumrolls*

TEACHER, CAN I GO TOILET??

i cant believe how many times i heard that. gdness. well the students told me i'm not fierce. wonderful. hais not that i can help it =( hais. i seriously cant wait for feb to come. well i learned a very impt lesson today... bring a book there to read (it's really boring when you don have lessons) seriously bored i tell you. goodness.

ok i hope tml will be better. i'm attached to this other teacher who teaches english and music. hopefully it wouldn't be that sian. and hopefully the teacher is nice to me :S haha.

i'm considering whether to take up jesher's one day job offer haha. depends on my schedule ba i suppose. if everyday like tdy (unbearable) den maybe can. hmmmmmm.... oh anyways i spent alot on this job kays. ok not alot. supposed to be alot. but end up all i did was buy a pair of comfy shoes and comfy pants for work. the rest i borrowed from the chua sisters. ok sounds weird wahaha x) i borrowed 2 pants and 1 top from jas, 2 blouses from anna. whee. save money hahahaha.

oh oh happy new year everyone!!! haha i think this entry has no order at all. countdown at nana's house was fine. great in fact hee. except for the sleeping late and eating late part. i played mahjong. and lazed ard. haha. shopping with jas was greatgreat! so fun haha. and so auntyish. i bought a $20 dollar nice nice rivver island bag!!!!!! haha if it was $40, i'd say it's zhikang and jas who made me buy it hee :D to console myself. but now that it's 20, it's brilliant me who bought it muahaha. thank you you for coming x)) very muchie.

yays. ok i'm tired. havent woke up so early before, since the last day of As.. yawns. ok i shall be off. cya :)

2007-12-30T22:11:00.000+08:00

time ticks by...

07 is coming to an end!! ahh... cant believe this hectic year is over. or rather this 2 long years. so many things happened and so many things are yet to happen haha. and guess wad?? i found a job. wonderful man. cant explain my anxiety and nervousness...

i'm going to be a relief teacher. omg.

ok altho one gd point is you work at earthly hours and the school is jus like erm, 2 min walk from my hse. haha. ok that was 2 gd points. anyways there's so many terrible scary points.

1. i only have jeans to wear, which is not allowed.
2. i've to face a super big grp of people
3. i've to mark scripts.
4. i've to teach things i've never touched for like. decades.
5. i've zero experience.
6. i don want to talk to so many ppl!!
7. the class so big!!!
8. wad if i stone??

oh great. this is really scary. hais. why did i even take it up, you'll ask. and den i'll answer. i duno i always believed one thing and you told me i was wrong. but now you are the one proving me how right i was.

i said i've laid it down. den why do i fell this way. i cant explain to anyone. including myself. and seeing you, you, you everyone! why. wad do i mean to you? i don get it. is it true. and you. wad do you want from me? i dont know wad you want. and i'm tired. i jus don believe in it anymore. i feel like jus telling you that. i duno.

到头来，还是一个人
if you think i'm fine,
you're wrong.

2007-12-19T21:27:00.000+08:00

I LOVE YOU TCS

i'm not some mediacorp fan kays. nono i'm so not. i don like local shows haha. anyways i really love you all=( it's been really long since i saw so many of you guys... really miss you all so much. too bad sumin couldnt come all we could take a big family photo. it'll be the best photo ever :))

we met ytd at orchard at 5pm. but as usual me's late! haha... so's beth. and the funniest thing (ok, it's the dumbest) happened. get ready:

we were on the same carriage since yio chu kang but we din know till er reached bradell!! i smsed her to ask if she brought the score for me and i shun bian say i'm going to be late. at that time i was at er i think yck. den she replied saying she did bring adn that she's late too. i asked her where she is, at that time i was at bishan alr. den she replied "bishan. haha". den i gasped and asked her where, and that i was at the head. jus then, i raised my head to look ard. and THERE SHE WAS. barely 3m opp from me. oh my goodness!! it was so embarrassing. she din see me either la! gdness. and we realised shocking-matter no.2: we got the same handphone pouch at the exact same place. but of a day diff. oh man.

ok that was seriously dumb. and i shall tell a secret. BETH WORE HEELS. haha. as in those really painful kind. ok i duno wad's it called haha. anyways we went to food replublic to eat. and no, ongsiyun, going there is not called going budget. their teh-ping is $1.70!!! can kill la gdness. but anyways we eat and talked and stayed there for so long befroe we realised like usual, we're attracting loads of attention. and finally we decided to leave to let those other poor customers rest their feet wahaha x)

den we went to far east to shop. kinda. i din buy anything but it's ok cos i shopped with nana last fri and we had a great great time! :) spent so much hahaha... we crapped alot and everything. it was jus plain super fun :) took a fair bit of photos but as usual they're not with me. i shall get them from ongyun soon.

love you all:) so much.

tdy went to taka to get the job application thingy. shermin should start earning before she spends haha. altho she spent already. ah wells. went to recruit express to look for andrew. haha i din know he so shuai!! whee oops. hahaa. is ongsiyun recommend de. he said our interview is so random. haha. he asked me wad kind of job do i want and i replied "er, can i have one that doesnt have to face a large grp of ppl?" and he said. "huh?"

haha ok nvm i shall jus wait for his reply. i duno if i should submit the application form for syphony music school, galleria or christofori. hais. or should i even submit. hmm... but anyways my first student is coming on fri morn!! :S oh greatl scary scary. haha. i better teach well or i'm dead =x

ok i'm talking alot cos too long neva blog le haha. anyways prom was not too bad. but not very gd either haha. ah wells. cant expect much. sec 4 one was definitely more fun. but i managed to take photos with all my frens and classmates and the wushu gang!! yeahs. but the sad thing is i went home straight after it. no one to go out with sighs. nvm i expected that. but it was great i could hitch a ride wahaha. took cheeyang's car home yay. so paiseh tho. haha kk i shall post photos! once i get my clique photo i'll post it too!! show off to the world my wonderful familyy!!! i love you tcs. thx so much for everything!!

2007-11-28T10:04:00.000+08:00

HOLIDAYS=)

i bought my dress for prom!!! yay=)) so happy.. haha.
ytd was the funnest day so far since holidays started. went shopping with yun and wen. went walk walk at orchard. i think yun was going to puke blood haha cos me and wen keep trying but don like haha. either too ex or not our ideal. picky us x)

we talked for longlong at macs while i ate lunch at 3plus liddat haha. talked about all the bothering things. hais. looks like almost every girl goes through those pain. but it's alright. i know that my girl friends will always be around. thanks wen and yun=) love ya both. and jiayou wen! i'm sure things will be fine. jus know that we'll always be with you de. and sorry my song made you cry haha.. i din know. but i guess the lyrics are jus wad i wanted to say..

den at about 7.30 pm liddat we went meritus mandarin to see the cj prom. saw jan and shar! yay. they both look sooo pretty. shar will always look so glam. haiss. then lele was there also and so the 4 of us continued walking. after much discussion, i bought my gown!! so happy. it's nice=) but rather plain la. now must headache bout shoe bag and hair. i'm getting FREE makeup at shiseido (i think it's spelt this way) with yun and her frens. so funny hor. duno her frens=( nvm. got yun=)

ytd was jus great. i missed them all. except yun. haha. see her like everyday la. had alot of fun and crap haha. i miss you all. i'm glad there's going to be a official TCS outing soon. planning... =)

smiles! yay.

hope prom will be fun=( i scared i'll turn out ugly. oh no. hais. nvm. shall jus hide somewhere if turns out to be ugly haha. i miss everyone!! ahh. cant wait for prom.

perhaps staying single isn't that bad
but still yearn company
i long for someone to lean on
desire to be loved

2007-11-21T22:53:00.000+08:00

A LEVELS IS OVERRRR....

haha i saw this superr cute blogskin. so i decided to change to this! haha. time to put some colour to my blog. come to think of it, this is the first brightly coloured blogskin i've gotten. wow haha. i jus cant resist the pikachu. haha.

i wonder who actually still comes read my blog :[

anyways, a levels was not tooooo badd. but not very good either lah tho. but it really was over before i knew it. after i finished my econs paper i started to slack le haha. but actually i was kinda dreading the exams to end. weird eh? hais i jus din want everything to end. you know how i hate these separation thingys. altho i'm not exactly close to my class, but there are still a number of people i don want to lose...ppl like hexi siewfun xinyi cheeyang zhikang jason... hais. kinda weird that we wont meet each other anymore. at least some i still see at prom. ah wells.

how i wish we can all be at the same uni or work or sth. but hais the guys have to go serve their duty of shaving head and carrying heavy stuff first. so it's even more impossible to meet...howw. i hate this kinda thing. ytd when i said bye to hexi i was almost at tears. so was she. i wrote her a card but seriously it wasnt enough to express how much i dread this to end.

so many things i've learned in hc. really. thx to these ppl=))

speaking bout ngcheeyang jus reminds me bout ytd. makes me mad. blea don want talk bout it. hmph. angry. but nvm. he owes me a treat!!

i'm looking forward to this weekend and next week and many weeks to come haha. more exctiting things yay! i'm going shopping with yun and wen nxt wk!! and we have 1006 outing nxt fri!! and i'm going msia this week! and i'm bringing frens to church!! wahaha. so exctiting aint it.

yays

ah wells after exams are over the matters of heart comes to hand. now yet again i face the same baffling question. and i face the task that proves once again how tough it is. i jus want to know the answer. the name that resides in my heart.

2007-10-27T22:19:00.000+08:00

A levels are comingg!!!

haha i cant believe i'm actually updating my blog! in the eve eve eve of exams! so zai man cant believe it. i have frens who are enjoyin themselves now!! ahh. well they can afford it but not me. thx to my consistently bad results=( haha. i should be studying, shouldnt i? oh great. i shall go den=)

JIAYOU everyone for the big exams! hang in there~ =)

life is yours, a fairytale of your own.

2007-09-05T22:33:00.000+08:00

PRELIMS I HATE YOU x(

argh...i cant believe prelims is coming. and i'm not even half done. sometimes i jus feel i'm seriously not cut out to do mugging or all these exams crap. hais. i'm jus not made to be smart=(( i'm trying hard to study but they all seems o foreign. and who can guarantee me reading them would equate to them being retained in that empty head of mine=( sobs. i'm jus robbed and sapped of every tinge of hope and confidence le=( Lord, help me.....

my future is bleak...hais. but nvm i duno wad i want to do in future either haha. anw i'm looking forward to this saturday's fun fair. yay. selling cookies. yay yay. that's one thing that's happy haha =) oh wells. sadded.

you know i don want to talk bout it now.
i hope you understand
i cant guarantee the future.

2007-07-31T21:33:00.000+08:00

the DEMENTORS are here...

dont you find it misty and cold these days? the rain keeps pouring and the sky neva was bright... can you sense the chill that sweeps through the land and cross your side? and when you try to look into the sky, all you see is a thick fog enveloping the universe above? you cant help but think... the dementors are here..

haha no la x)

ok i'm going mad. with all the stoopid piles of revision sets lying ard. i can hardly stop to breathe man. goodness. but it IS cold these days, and you cant deny that k. i hardly take off my jacket now. haha. even the tiny blob of bell has risen in my galileo thermometer >< ok nvm

anway i've watched harry potter 5 twice le. and i seriously don mind a third. muahaha. but $$ and time is the key now. hais. so ya. no more. now i'm reading the book. and no it's not the last book. is the 6th one. cos i havent read it yet. hehe. i'm going at snail speed man. goodness. no wonder i always cant finish my gp. blea xp

k as you can see i'm slacking now. hais. so sian. tired alr. school is getting more and more draining. far more than i can take. hais. k i shall go slp. aft my bedtime story that is =)

cya all and take care. stay warm and jiayou for exams.

2007-07-14T22:18:00.000+08:00

HARRY POTTER

ahh i've watched it finally...i think anna and ren mus have thot i'm mad. i was jumping all ard like a excited young kid. haha. cant blame me ma...more than a year since i've went to the cinema le leh....haha. i'll only go into the cinema for one show: harry potter. wahahahaha.

ppl say it wasnt nice. indeed it isnt that impressive but heyy i still like it :D i think harry's life is so cham. hais. feel so heartbroken for him. hais. poor harry. i jus wished they could extend the movie. maybe jus film it for dvd. really cut too much le la. kinda disappointing but STILL.. I LIKE IT. and i want to watch it again. cos i watch until very bu shuang tdy. it was like a nursery la! goodness. like playground liddat. i've neva expressed my anger in public liddat but they were really getting on my nerves. couldnt watch properly. chao angry. so... i'm going to watch again. with my mum and my cousin. hmph.

how i wish i can fly to london and be part of the show. not bcos i like daniel radcliffe. but bcos i like harry. the character. hais. haha i mus be mad x)

oh wells anyway jc life is ending. kinda sad that everything's coming to an end but honestly, it isnt as sad as i left st nicks or aj. haha. tho i really met great frens here. still. i don attach myself to the school so i wont miss it at all.

there's grad night tho. i really want to go. it's gonna be your last chance to have prom le haha. budden i duno who to go with. or rather who i'm going to have fun with. not like my cls gals are going. den also not so close with my cls ppl. hais. duno la. so ex also

kk i shall go slpslp le. cya all=) take care.

2007-07-07T19:07:00.000+08:00

i'm still cant wait for harry potter! ahh.... goodness.

anyways i failed my stoopid blocks again. hais. i duno wad am i supposed to do to ever pass them. hais. i don want to jus end my two years of school with a U. i don even dare dream about A anymore. it seems so far away. so..out of reach. oh wells.

church stuff are piling up man. at the wrong time. cos i have to take over the head. hais. whyy... i cant even do it. i don think i can. it's jus not me. not my character. well, i leave it all to God le. hopefully thinks turn out well. but nonetheless i know He'll bring me thru=)

everyone should go watch harry potter seriously. haha. it's really really nice. i want their merchandise. shirt, poster, wand, robe, wadeva...awww. why singapore don sell them de..i know china and US has. why singapore don have...... whyyyyy

2007-07-03T22:42:00.000+08:00

I'M BACCK!

haha. after a looong break i'm back. yay. jus finished blocks, which hmm, not surprisingly wasnt good at all. but i sure enjoyed it. haha. cos i spent it slacking.

i cant wait for harry potter 5

argh i really cant. icantwaiticantwaiticantwait... i've watched all 4 of the previous movies over and over again. waiting for the grand day where harry potter 5 lifts its veils on 12 july! ha :D but no one's watching with me =( end up watching with my parents tho. but they don seem to be in any hurry to watch it. but i want to be the first one!!! x.x blea.

anyways i shall not talk about wad happened all these while but can only say i'm fine and alive and kicking. haha. jus excited. haha. harry potter!!!

2007-04-21T10:17:00.000+08:00

everything's over le.

i promise.
one day
i will forget you

2007-04-12T21:47:00.000+08:00

空虚，太空虚了

每次走到这里，，
我想到你的背影。
每次看到这里，
我想听你的声音。
渐渐的，
我的天空变阴。

我不期待任何特别的对待
我不须要你的回头
但我不能看着如今的画面而对你微笑
一切的发生让我不禁想起孤单
让我感受再次的寂寞

人生中我扮演着什么角色
人生中我有着什么地位

在你生命中
我到底是什么
什么都不是
你只能看到她，你看到我了吗？

永远等待
我的专属天使

2007-04-06T14:08:00.000+08:00

editted!!

yay i edited my blogskin and got rid of the stoopid ugly frog. haha. i hate frogs. anw it's been long long time since i updated and many many things happened. happy, sad and monotonous stuff. haha. each having their little impacts on me. oh wells.

first of all. i passed my chem and math blocks!! woohoo~ tho they're lousy lousy grades but i passed! that's very happying. yay. but i still fail phy. why. hais. i always fail the subj i like most. strange. hmm ><

family probs. major major family stuff. cant really say all here. don think it's very nice to tell it. i jus hope it solves soon. although it doesnt affect this generation of ours. but still. it affects us. hope things solve soon.

there's only one thing in my mind now. one fear. one excitement. WUSHU COMP. oh my goodness. 3 more days. i cant believe it. i don think i'm ready. oh man oh man. how how how. scarryy. but i'm excited. according to my memory. having wushu comp at manjusri sec has been a great memory to me. one of those happy moments. but this year's comp is going to be different. and i'm part of it. those pplp on the hong di tan with number tags pinned on their backs. urgh.

ok great i hope i don panic and forget anything and get wobbly with all my steps. nonono. NO NEGATIVE THOUGHTS. anw i wish all wushu-ers jiayou!! go do your best and leave the di tan with no regrets. jiayou! =)

2007-03-12T21:07:00.000+08:00

my blog's back!!!

at least i can see it. can you all? hmm.... i'll try to find a new skin soon i guess. ayer. so ma fan. i shouldnt be online here updating you know....haiyo. how can liddat. i have blocks in like er...lemme count. 7 days!! exactly a week. hais.

screwed up the whole of last year and i really don wish the same thing happens again this year. next week. it's the time i show myself wad i'm capable of. jus hopefully nth bad happens from now till then to down my spirit. i really want to do well.

wushu competition is like only a mth away la...oh no. ok 1 month and 4 days. urgh, and i'm not even ready. really not. all my xia pan are like really shakey..how how how. i nid to train really hard if i even one a 5.0 on that day. goodness. and i cant seem to end back at the same spot. urgh. pekpek. train harder shermin!! goodness. thinking of me on that di tan jus scares me >_<

oh ya and i'm going for piano competition. great. so scary. nvm jus go there and anyhow play la haha. so many events. major major events coming up. and youth choir is going for CD recording this friday and i'm playing the piano!! scaryy scaryy.... all the scary things this year. goodness.

oh wells i should really be studying le la. hais. alright then. take care everyone!! and jiayou to all wushu ppl seeing this. and also to all that's mugging. tho you shouldnt be online at all. wahaha. cya=)

2007-03-03T21:06:00.000+08:00

创伤
一次
又一次

对“生命”
对“幸福”
心灰意冷

内心的垂死
灵魂之长短
命不久矣

i wasn't wrong.

2007-02-18T22:11:00.000+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

haha....so fast and another year past and it's new year...haiyo. my house is real clean and neat now. haha. really really nice=) nothing much happened these few days tho. alot la actually. but that thing's solved so i'm real happy so everything seems fine.

wushu perf on CNY was real fun. tho i did it with a bad back sprain. but hais. it's our last perf. die die mus try my best. haha. cant believe i changed out of fuzhuang, the principal still came to shake my hands saying i performed well :S scary man. haha vday was a lonely one la. but haha nvm lor i guess.

i shall post many photos den. since photo tells a thousand words x)

my fren's nice vday present=)

DRAGON!! haha. my angels gave it to me=))

all my vday presents. woohoo i'm loved!! <33>

all the food stuff i got on vday. (greedy..)

nice choc on the classbench beside ours. nth to do so i went to peek at others' presents. oops. hee :D

flower windmill in the lion dance room. really nice huh.

wushu CNY perf group!! yea man ^^

ok that's all. i arrange the photos until headache ah. haiyo. lousy system... lousyyy. haha. basically those are things that happened these days. wushu perf took alot of photos la. but camera man havent upload so another time ba!!

cya all and happy new year!! =))

2007-02-13T16:27:00.000+08:00

武福临门

haha.. my fren wrote this four words for dui lian. so cool:)

oh wells. new year coming. and cny performance also coming. this fri. hais. and this happens. din go school tdy cos i sprained my back muscle. chao pain can... last sat alr pain le. den i thot it's nth so i still went for training ytd. den stretched it halfway thru my tao lu. den wah. so pain >_ <>!! woohoo. oh wells. nth to cheer about actually. it's a lonely valentines this year. haha. nvm la i guess. i shall jus spend it alone =) i ordered flowers for some ppl!! yay yay. hopefully they get delivered successfully ah. or i'm going to be mad. hmph.

i want go back aj!!! ahhhh... sylvia when are we going back??!! ayer. i'll try ALL i can to go back this week. haha. shall see again. yep. haha ecoms lect was boring last week so i decided to draw. erm i cant draw la but... i think it doesnt look too bad right?? hee xD

tadah!

ok i know it's not very nice la. but it took me 3/4 of the lecture to draw lor. wahaha.

okok i mus go do work le. hais. stoopid A levels >_<

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!

2007-01-25T21:54:00.000+08:00

heyheyheyheyhey!!

haha. it's been real long since i updated isnt it. hmm. havent been using the comp for like ages... >_< so yea.

well school has been relatively alright since it started. schoolwork's a neverending flow like ever. and i passed my first math test since sec 3!! (except prelims and Os) goodness. so happy^^ wahaha. altho it's jus a mere pass. but hey. it's pass. wahaha.

hais. duno why i'm starting to miss aj again. think is cos of the 1st 3 mths feeling. haha. that day my dad took a diff route to school and drove past aj. saw all the diff sec sch uniforms walking thru the school gate jus makes me miss the past. going to sch with syl and helen. hais. miss those times. duno why i miss the lab lessons. haha. I MISS AJ. i want to go back. i shall make syl go back with me before cny or sth. hais.

oh wells. i wonder who even reads this blog! haha. but i love my new skin x) nice nice. tho the font might be a lil smally...is it?

oh wells. jiayou everyone for sch!! take care and happy new year!! haha.

2006-12-31T19:44:00.000+08:00

farewell 2006
and all it holds...

so quickly a year has passed le..haix. looking back at 2006, everything seems like a dream. haha. sitting down and looking closely, if you'd ask me i'd say it's over jus too quickly. it dint exactly feel real. haha.

this year was a great year i'd say. so many things changed. so many things happened. but it seemed like nth happened this year remained. everything was back to square one. everything.

wad happened in first three months were too good to be true. friendship. all that i ever wanted in the new life beyond the comforts of st nicks. soon, it was over. back to hostility. unfamiliarity. tough times. taking so long for things to be well again. all that happened in aj was a dream. that was over too quickly. i wished i could hold on to it but life is harsh. i couldnt.

wad happened between us were over too quickly too. haha. no one to blame. no one's fault. maybe only mine. guess we learn through lessons. too harsh a lesson i'll think...haha.

school wasnt good since practically i didnt have the heart of studies at all for the entire year. seemed like i wasted a year. oh wells there's another year ahead. jus hoping all's not too late. hopefully. wushu was great at first, giving wad was my motivation. but now i'm still motivated to do well. haha. but wushu isnt the same as before. it wont ever be.

time is ticking awayy...wad happened this year would be over in no time. everything would just be a memory. part of the past. part of my history.

'07
... wad would you hold?

i close the book today...
reluctantly

2006-12-12T22:37:00.000+08:00

bleahx >_<

sorry for not updating. haha. have been busy busy man...all the christmas stuff and the camp tml. goodness. so many things. so stress :'( sobsob. first time being the programmer la...and the first day i have to lead the games alone. ahhh. sobsob. scaryy. hope i do well lor. later everyone bored. sobsob.

have been shopping man..wahaha. bought alot alot of things. spent alot alot also. now broke le. no more shopping. bought 3 shirts, 1 jeans, 1 belt, 1 slippers, 1 bag..woohoo. love them all=)

yay i got new song that i'm addicted too!! liang shan bo yu zhu ying tai...nicenice ^^ altho ya la i know the title a bit the -.-" but haha. the song is nice nice. now got 3 fav songs. nono. 4. no. 5. haha. too many le. but can say is 5 la :)

tml camp le. will be back on sat so yep. don miss me! haha. ok since when am i so ego..hmmm......oh wells.

helenlen!! when will kaifong return you the vcd...sobsob. i want watch. i've been disappointed twice le lor. haha. kidding la. not your fault. once fong return yuo le mus tell me ar. i book it. haha. love ya len..

kk i shall go settle last min camp stuff le. cya all!

在你离开以后　　　
带走了笑容　　
只留下寂寞　　
忘了幸福是什么

2006-12-02T23:06:00.000+08:00

"IN the presence of God, who is the source of out love and before all witnesses, I, ..., take you, ..., to be my wife, for better or for worse, in joy and in sorrow, in sickness and in health, to honour and to love, to support and to pray with you and be faithful to you as long as we both shall live. I solemnly give you my promise according to God's holy ordinance."

haha...that's the sweetest statement ever you'll hear in life. and guess that is one statement all girls would love to hear from her loved one. sigh... jus attended a wedding ceremony. and seriously i was almost at tears when they gave their thanksgiving speeches. i duno why. guess it just is so emotional.

how to dream of a wedding when you're not even attached...haha

never really thought wedding is so emotional. until jus now at the ceremony myself. really emotional. how nice it was to find someone you truly love and is willing to spend a lifetime with. to hear him give you a promise that lasts a lifetime. to feel his love forever. especially emotional for a girl ba i suppose. my uncle also felt so. cos you're leaving your family. casting your life and depending on a man you hold dear. especially for an only child :( sighs. it's a total different life le. haha.

sometimes i wonder. when would it be my turn. or rather. would i be standing there. haha:)

"..wisdom and devotion in their common life, that each may be to the other strength in need; a counselor in perplexity; a comfort in sorrow and a companion in joy. Grant that their wills may be so knitted together in Your will, and their spirit in Your Spirit, that they may grow in love and peace..."

2006-11-28T23:26:00.000+08:00

shopping with les!! woohoo...

haha. say is shopping la. but nth one lor pls. ayer. sadsadsad x( went vivo at like 10. hoping we'll be one of the first so that not too crowded. wah. regret man. so cold. haha. no body heats...so cold la goodness. welllll vivo was a disappointment..sighs. thot it was big and nice to shop. who knows it's so empty de. tsktsk. all we enjoyed was the sea and the night safari thing. haha. so cuute the doggies. and hamsters. and rabbits. aww. so cute.

the sea is nice=) too bad anna and i din bring cam. we wanted to take the cable car around lor. haha. for nothing. den we decided to not waste money and jus stare at the sea. we were waiting to see that tall carlsberg thing to go up but it dint. like no one taking it liddat. haiyo.

den we went to town to shop. nth much also. bought a espirit shirt. nicenice. i like:) hee. was headaching between choosing the black or white one. end up buying the black one. yep. den we went to find xian cos he's working at the GAP there ma. den we went to see and realised that GAP is not opened till 8 dec. o.O? isnt he supposed to work? haha... we were saying maybe he's working as a cleaner in the construction site. hahahaha.... ok end up he was inside. stocking. hahaha. so funny.

well shopping was bad tdy. nth to buy. sighs. or rather i tried quite some stuff. but don dare to buy. ha...either to ex or too short... xD jus when we were on our way back to the mrt to go home, we saw some last minute nice stuff. wanted to go in and see but thot better not. haha. cos nid to rush home le. maybe i shall go down town again to see those stuff ba:)

well tdy was fun. i'm glad..yay yay. love shopping with les (ok i really sound les) haha. is till got alot of things i want to buy!!! ahhhhh... slippers. jeans. christmas clothes...ahhhh. so many. yet so lil money and so lil time. ayerr. ma fan.

k la. i shall go slp le. haha. BEAUTY SLEEP. haha. ok nvm. nites everyone. takecare and cya=)

2006-11-25T21:03:00.000+08:00

i know i shouldnt be talking about this already...but it jus seems so strange. haha. not sure if it's the right word. but it really seems like nothing ever happened before. haha.. wad was it? i feel like a fool... haha. maybe like you said...it didnt happen.

you dint understand
and it wasnt real afterall..

2006-11-16T21:40:00.000+08:00

eternity~memories of light and waves

heyhey..been some time since i've been blogging le. haha. was like trying to make this skin nice. blea. still cant find one skin that makes me go "THAT'S IT! MYY SKINN!" hmm...nvm. i'll find it. haha. but lazy make my own. hee :D

nth's happened recently tho. life's like...dead. how ironic. oh wells. missed my precious clique outing thx to the stoopid spoilt coro sushi. i'm never going to eat sushi from coro le. NEVER!! so mean la. make me food poisoning:( suffer so long >_<" nonono. no more coro sushi. hmph. but at least now okay le. but i missed the outing!!! ahhhh... i cant believe this.

i miss you all.
the ahh family.
sobsob, i miss you all. everyone in tcs. ahhhhh... stoopid sushi.
---bleableableableableableableablea.---------

sigh.
i duno wad i'm doing either. i know you might find me stoopid. or find my lamenting. my reminiscing. my stubborness towards the past. my cling onto the "ever once was". my world of memories. i hate myself for being so weak as well. why. why i cant jus put it down. it's silly i know. i know it. but i don any of that to happen again. i don want to lose anything that's now in the present. but i don want to go back to the past. nth's right. i jus don want things to happen again. i duno. dont know anymore.

2006-11-02T22:51:00.000+08:00

hahaha... ok i editted the skin. know that it isn't as nice as the original one la. but cos that skin is like the lionheart person do for his fren de. den say he don let ppl use his skins without paying. so scary :S

so i decided to make it not so obvious is his. hmm.. at least i did some work so not considered as kope?? hmm. hee ;D

2006-10-31T22:55:00.000+08:00

NEW BLOGSKIN!!!

though i sorta koped it from the lionheart's homepage...hehe ;D but nvm la. he would have publiscised it one day de ma. haha. i'm jus taking it in advance. haha. hee. anyway i like it. woohoo. so ya. wahaha...

been looking for a new blogskin for very looong le. but canot find one nice one. so ya lor. now resort to koping le. haha. oops.

blea i want to slp le. tml still got training. another one of libin's mo gui xun lian. ohnohno ><" running again i bet. den i'll faint or puke again. sobsob. kk i shall go slp le.

nites everyone:) take care and cya all!

2006-10-27T17:18:00.000+08:00

fianl announcement..haha. i've been promoted:)

my class has 4 retainees and 3 under probation with 2 being asked to drop a subject. haha. that's the state of my class. my results aint wad i thought it was. which means wadeva i posted was not the final results. so ya. not good. but better. and i'm contented=)

but honestly, promoting isnt exactly wad i'm looking for now. haha. more like i want a break. a real long one. where i can leave my hse..like go some empty plot of meadow to spend my time there. experiencing songs and nature etc. don feel like living so close to humans now. haha. i want to leave this world. at least for now. but i don think i ever can.

tml's theory exam. cant wait for it to be over. then i'll be rather free. rather. not totally. mus do my OP and revision. when can i fulfil my dreams. to leave away from here? sigh.

there's somewhere within no one has reached yet still.
it's not that i'm preventing.
it's jus that.
no one can.

some stuff that you once said,
i jus feel so untrue
like it dint mean anything at all.
at all.
nonetheless,
i respect your decision:)

2006-10-19T13:26:00.000+08:00

ahaha
i deleted it x)
i should stop dreaming

2006-10-17T14:44:00.000+08:00

ok. the final update of my results.

overall.

PHYSICS H2: S
CHEMISTRY H2: U
MATH H2: S
ECONS H1: D
GP: C

hmm ya. in fact i duno why i'm so proud of my results. duno. jus feel that there isnt much i can hide. i'm jus too dumb for jc. duno lar. sian.

i'm short of a H2 pass to promote. currently, shermin is in the list of retainees in my class. 0.8 marks in phy to promote. 0.8 marks!! wad's your prob. guess wad he said.

"oh no i'm sorry. you got 44.2 and the pass grade is 45. the margin difference is too big, i cant help you. and besides don you think it's unfair to the rest?"

pls.
don you think others that are in my plight would ask for appeal as well? unfair. i duno. maybe. i don deserve to promote. haha. my fren was so bu shuang. he jus said, " mr ong, 0.3 marks for one year. bcos you don help her for that 0.3, she has to go through one year you know."

haha. guess nth persuades that old blockhead. argh. sorry. din mean to call him that. jus too pek >_< want me to retain not i don care. nth matters now.

now my qn is "should i appeal, or should i not." tho ms lin said i would most probably be promoted. cos there are a million cases before you. don worry. hmm i duno. not sure of wad lies ahead.

my life.
i leave to You.

2006-10-15T22:40:00.000+08:00

i'm giving the wrong ideas
i'm hurting you
i'm causing your future to be ruined
i'm causing you to hurt
i'm causing misery
i'm murdering you
i'm murdering him
i'm nth
but a murderer

i cant love
i'm telling you now i cant
i don care you think i'm jus some psychologically unstable person or wad
i tell you i mean it
i cant

i don know wad's love
wad is it
i don deserve it anymore
i've hurt you
i've hurt him

i don know where my heart lies
i hold you close to me
but no one's going to enter
no one resides within it
at least not any dwellers of this cruel world
not you
not him
not anyone

"shermin died
she died in a car crash
the one i loved died
the one now is not real"

i agree.
i've died.
and i wont live anymore

if suicide brings me to heaven, Lord take me!
take me away before i hurt anyone anymore.
Lord, take me!

2006-10-12T20:07:00.000+08:00

H1 ECONS: D

hmm i'm glad for my econs. guess my grades isnt any diff fr blocks. haha. nvm. still havent met the promotion criteria.

NO. OF RETAINEES FR MY CLASS : 10

haha. next year 6j will only have 16 ppl. sad. and i don think i'm in it? sigh. i duno. don wish or dare to think. haha. i'm feeling terrible. seeing everyone by me doing so well. my bestest fren in my class, A A B. haha. wad can i do. i don dare to think of wad lies before me. haha. great.

i feel quite lost suddenly. all of a sudden, everything is blank before me. i've lost wad meant everything to me for that moment. den i lost wad i've worked and struggled thru for a year. hmm. i duno wad lies before me. i really dont. everything's a blank. in that mist enveloping my pathway. lead my way, Lord. i have nth to cling on but to You.

i really duno where i'm going anymore.
or rather i duno wad i should do.
nth is well.
nth.
but everything is well there.
haha i'm glad.
//
you'll realise you don nid wad you think is your centre.
you'll find out its illusion of importance.
you'll realise
i'm jus a passing cloud.
you will.

从此以后我都不敢抬头看
彷佛我的天空
失去了颜色
从那一天起
我忘记了呼吸

2006-10-11T22:24:00.000+08:00

PHYSICS H2: S

haha nth to say sia.
rather happy tho.
cos all along i thot i'll do better for chem than phy.
but haha
forget it
i still cant be promoted.
so far...
yet nth can be done

2006-10-10T22:24:00.000+08:00

chemistry H2: U

i mean it when i said i cant make it.
tml phy.
i don see any diff from this.
haha.
how am i going to live.

2006-09-30T16:27:00.001+08:00

i hate promos =X

bleahx i tell you i hate it x.x i think i retain liao. gp still okok. although i duno wad i writing for essay. haha. den econs i think okok. not too good though. DRQ seems to simple to be true. think i din catch the thing properly. but essay was :S

sigh den came the sciences...........the horror of all students. at least for me T_T i think i did horrendously. chem was better than phy. but still bad. argh argh argh. chem got 10 marks blank. i know how to do one lor!!! pek chek. a FEW FEW FEW seconds before the teacher said "pens down", i SUDDENLY got enlightened and i knew how to do!!! ahhhh... but too bad. 10 marks. -flyy- :(

phy was worse. neva seen such worse scenrio. was having flu the prev day le. den had to do phy paper with a runny nose and teary eye. pekchek. sick twice in three weeks. bleah. left two pages blank. think is about 8 marks. not sure. but i know i die le. sigh. gg le la:( i got study one lor. sigh. too dumb le.

dumb.

now left math. wad makes you think it'll be any better lorr... math is my worse. ask my class ppl. ask yongsheng. haiyo. ask my sec frens. every one knows i cant make it for math. oh no oh no. how how how. wad if i really retain?! ahh!

seriously i don want study le. so sian:( sigh. cnat believe aj starts one week aft us and ends at the same time. ok relatively the same time. sigh. anyway, jiayou to all of you!! go go go! don retain like me k?:)

k then. enough of slacking. shall got do math le. bye:)

2006-09-09T21:10:00.000+08:00

it's coming...

haha. went to return book jus now at sun plaza den heard someone shout "shermin!". at first i thought maybe it's jus me hearing things. haha. den i was thinking no wad...cannot be. haha. yuan lai shi kah hwee and gengliang nor....haiyo. scare me. sorry ah. was a bit blur. mind was somewhere else. bleah xD wadtodowadtodo..haiyo x_X

i want watch rozen maiden traumend!!! -sobsob- but i realise they got more than jus 2 seasons lor. seems to have alot. yay yay=)))) cant wait to watch ALL of them. wahaha.. addicted to so many things now la. haiyo. RM, den still got final fantasy. i want watch lehs. hmm >< soo many things to do after promos liddat. haha.

guess wad i'm doing? i'm koping emoticons from my fren. haha. lots of new ones now. haha. hmm i shall change my blogskin myself soon. when i get toooo sianed bout studying i'll do some suff. put my favoourriittee rozen maiden. yupp:)

promos is coming. take care everyone. jiayou! trying hard not to think.

taking the easy way out now, haha.
irresponsible me. but hmm
everything shall wait.
after promos pls.
my heart,
refrain from thy emotions.

2006-09-07T22:39:00.000+08:00

i was selfish...
i'm sorry for wad has happened
it still hurts..
how long will this lonliness last...

my feelings and thoughts... all in this four words ba i guess. haha. pardon the ugly writing. it's not like i've ever learnt it you know..hee >_<

anyway i'm chao addicted to this new anime!!! Rozen maiden:)) and i mean addicted. i chao love it le la. but i finished the series. sad. shall watch the second series only after promos. you hear me shermin?? after promos!! okok... i love it! sigh but shermin, you nid to mug ya know? no more time le. and you don want to retain. as much as you don want to be promoted. and face that >.<

found someone who understands how you feel. but found someone who understands how i feel. yet i know the one who feels like you. yet i cant console..cos i'm well aware of how i feel. hmm chim. i also don really know wad i'm talking le la.

anyway i'm feeling lost once again. haha. but as i said always. as long as you're okay=)

2006-09-03T21:01:00.000+08:00

yay i changed song...haha. i think alot of songs that i like all for things to do with thousand one..haha. i know this song quite old liao la...but i jus sort of discovered it. and it's very nice. i like the verse more than the chorus. haha. be patient and wait for the song to load completely k? haha and i bet you'll love it like i do!!=)

i guess some things have to change. haha. guess you did so. and i believe it's the best for you and me ba. really, i think so. i cant be selfish. you cant be, you understand that, shermin? think for others. know how others will feel. it's only for the better. and trust me. i really believe so:)

guess this feeling is still lingering round the very soul of my life...i'm afterall..part of nothing. haha. maybe i am, in God's hands. but in this mortal world, i'm now part of nothing. haha. always knew good things dont last long. and guess i'm right afterall.

一切在那一日结束了
一切在那一刻改变了
我已一无所有。。。
110506
170706

2006-08-31T23:06:00.000+08:00

haha. another inspiration to write in chinese. Guess it's cos i listen to too much chi songs le. sigh >_< 本以为感情已经逐渐放下了，
但看来好像又再重重叠起。
也许是因为看到了你
或也许是看到了她
也不知道该如何反应
真的不想见到她

看到了她们
真的又有一股不舍得了
原来心总没有离开那里
爱也没有离开那里

所说的那番话
感触良多
但最害怕得是误会
让自己有些虚空，虚假的盼望
不想再次一相情愿。。。

went back to st nicks today. i miss my frens... i really really do. sigh. wished we go back to those innocent days. seeing them makes me happy=) but jessica wee's question was bad. haha. jus bad. makes me feel like crying once again. but i din really answer. i dunno wad to say. could only smile...hmm.

things cant go back to its past so ya. haha.

if i ever retain, i'd quit school. i don want to do this all over again. in the past i had an alternative. an alternative i wanted so badly. but hey. i cant anymore. it's not the same. wad for do it. though i still want it but haha. you're not welcomed. and you'll jus suffer more:)
so conclusion, i shall quit school.
ha.

2006-08-24T23:57:00.000+08:00

one which i chose to leave
and the other which i was told to leave..
haha. my love life..how great.

i'm sorry, anoy. all along i havent gave you an answer and left it hanging there. cos i was unsure of how i feel. i'm serious when i said i duno. now i know. i know i cant love anyone now. and that all these are jus wrong at this moment. perhaps i really need to take a break from all these. maybe a few years later i'll see hope in love again? haha. i duno. but i know right now, it's impossible le. i'm tired.

i'm really sorry. i know this hurts and no matter wad, it will. thanks for all that has happened in my life. i really thank you. i jus hope nothing much changes. i'm sorry dear. sorry.... i really hope you wont be too affected. jus know that no matter wad, as wad identity, i'm here:) really. i would still be more than willing to listen to you. afterall the past is the truth and will always be.

i'm sorry
really i mean it
dont know wad else to say but
"sorry"

2006-08-22T23:13:00.000+08:00

you think i dont know?
have you spared a thought for me?

i know how you feel. trust me i do. but wad do you want me to do alr? i'm sorry...that's all i can say. i'm really lost now. i'm clear yet so unclear.

that day was a failure. all i wished to do was gone. i only wished to introduce how lovely this world is. how life can be changed by christianity. is it so hard? is it wrong? tears are flowing like they've never flowed before now. i'm so hurt. i know you all care. but have you cared for how i feel? how he'll feel? wad can i say now? can i even say " hey this is wad it's like to be in our fellowship. we're like a family. we love each other and accept each other. we welcome everyone." can i say that??

i cant!

it's over. i know timing's bad. but is my intentions wrong? is it? you jus want to see me alone. i know it. dont deny there's a tinge of you wanting to see me isolated now. cos to you it's only normal for this to happen. seeing me with someone else is jus wrong isnt it? i know...haha.

you jus want me to be alone.

if isolation is wad you want, i give it to you

2006-08-21T18:47:00.001+08:00

Heaven Knows

She's always on my mind
From the time I wake up,
Till I close my eyes
She's everywhere I go
She's all I know
And though she's so far away,
It just keeps getting stronger everyday
And even now she's gone
I'm still holding on
So tell me, where do I start
'Cause it's breakin' my heart
Don't wanna let her go

Maybe my love will
Come back someday
Only Heaven knows
And maybe our hearts
Will find a way
But only Heaven knows
And all I can do
Is hope and pray
'Cause Heaven knows

My friends keep telling me
That if you really love her,
You've gotta set her free
And if she returns in time
I'll know she's mine
But tell me,
where do I start
'Cause it's breakin' my heart
Don't wanna let her go
Maybe my love will
Come back someday
Only Heaven knows
And maybe our hearts
Will find a way
But only Heaven knows
And all I can do
Is hope and pray
'Cause Heaven knows

Why I live in despair
'Cause wide awake or dreamin'
I know she's never there
And all the time I act so brave,
I'm shakin' inside
Why does it hurt me so?

Maybe my love will
Come back someday
Only Heaven knows
And maybe our hearts
Will find a way
But only Heaven knows
And all I can do
Is hope and pray
'Cause Heaven knows
Heaven knows
Heaven knows

2006-08-15T18:09:00.000+08:00

haha...went back to aj tdy. or rather jus now. it was great to be so near that place once again. haha. but yet there was a tinge of...haha. so many emothions and stuff to say actually. but i really duno how to phrase it or anything. jus know that i'm conflicting myself. haha. contradiction. hmm.. but anyway, perhaps you're right. it's all about whether the one is happy nots. so if you are, i'll let you=)

guess it could have been better.. for that 3 minutes. things seem to be so isolated. like we were in another world, oblivious to wad's around us. or at least for me. haha. but guess it was jus too hard:) nvm. i'm contented.
although i want more. don be greedy shermin. he doesnt like you.

2006-08-12T22:37:00.000+08:00

you shouldnt feel this way

looks like i havent put down at all! haha..
seeing all these things. seeing how you treat them...argh i cant help it. it hurts. but wad can i do? though i know i have no right now. but i guess i'm jus nothing in that world anymore. haha...must i really resign to fate? i know i must, but really it's so hard.

shermin you have to learn, really. this is another world now. though it is the same time, under the same sky, you're in a different world now. you have no rights anymore. learn.

learn.

no right to feel so
jealousy

2006-08-09T22:56:00.000+08:00

haha..a sudden rush of thoughts in chinese=)

有些事情虽说要搁在一旁，但不是如此轻易。
越来越觉得自己欠的人情太多了。
自从你离开后，事情就愈复杂。。。
过的日子可以说是满痛苦的。
交朋友真的这么困难吗？
为何要批评，或从中作梗呢？
你的离开让许多事情接踵堆上来。。。
有时累了，也不知往哪投靠
-生命的支柱-
你的付出，我的无奈
你的等候，我的无情
我的情义，你的拒绝
真的觉得自己
孤军一人
会好一点:)

2006-08-04T22:43:00.000+08:00

i love F.I.R.. oh no. influence from ng cheeyang la. haiyo. i love their new album. always had a bad impression of them. but their newest album is really nice. really=) worth you spend the money to buy it. seriously. i don even know which song to change my blog song to la..haha. nice nice. everyone go listen to it. download it!!

it was great talking to you. hmm. at least now i think i know the reason although it isn't a good thing, it was something i guess i had always feared and sort of expected. thought i could keep you, but haha. guess i was wrong. but it's ok. shall not talk more. i'll jus leave it to you=) as for me....haha. you don have to bother le:)

no more possibility le. haha. guess i have to learn how to do this. haz..

sighs. falling sick le. been sick for quite some time. got the virus from my classmates. sigh. stress. don think i can be ready for the performance so soon. still cant do the basics well. also cannot memorise the tao lu properly. argh. my support is gone le that's why. haha. my motivation all along. it collapsed as it did too. but it's alright le=)
take care you...

2006-07-31T21:32:00.000+08:00

haha..nth much to post about. jus that now i'm having mixed feelings.

excitement. joy.
fear. senses.

i duno wad you feel. guess you feel wad i felt that time. though i was clear. but now i'm lost again. i'm afraid of the future. yet my hearts tell me to plunge into it, not deprive myself of the opportunity and how i feel exactly. now i'm sure. yet i'm afraid wad i want is not wad is meant to be. wad if things would be like the past? i don want that.

maybe i shouldnt think of that possibility? i duno. it may jus be another illusion. for all i know. you've left completely. haz..nvm.

nth much to blog bout actually.. jus that i want to stop thinking of that possibility. cos the more you think, the more you'll get hurt. and i don want that anymore.

my heart and senses!
stop this conflict already!
don torture my soul like that..
i cant take more.
i don know who to listen to.
"love is blind"
i know that.
i don want to expect and lose it.
i don want.
pls.
l.i.m.e

2006-07-28T23:07:00.000+08:00

haha..yesterday had my third conselling session. hmm..lasted for like 1 and a half hour. thanks for all of your concern la:) but seriously it's gonna take more than jus time to get over this. haha. forget it. easier said than done. much easier said. hmm...

have a new addiction now. i jus love this song la. really love it. it's jus so nice. can repeat it like a thousand times also nvm. haha. tml got training. mus prepare for MAF le. stress. everything. argh. politics. studies. wushu. everything jus seem to be piling up le. hopefully i can take it. learning to be independant ba i guess. nvm. it's hard to understand wad i'm going thru now. haha.

i love this song...

歌曲名：千年泪
歌手：Tank
曲：吕建忠词：李姚/吕建忠

才话别已深秋
只一眼就花落
窗台人影独坐
夜沉的更寂寞
一段路分两头
爱了却要放手
无事东风走过
扬起回忆如昨
摇摇欲地不只你的泪
还有仅剩的世界
嘲笑的风高唱的离别
我却　听不见

穿越千年的眼泪
只有梦里看得见
我多想再见你哪怕一面
前世未了的眷恋
在我血液里分裂
沉睡中缠绵清醒又幻灭

梦在千丝发间
我在梦里搁浅
月光尽是从前
苍白了的想念
你眺望着天边
我眺望你的脸
紧记你的容颜
来世把你寻找
摇摇欲地不只你的泪
还有仅剩的世界
嘲笑的风高唱的离别
我却　听不见

穿越千年的眼泪
只有梦里看得见
我多想再见你哪怕一面
前世未了的眷恋
在我血液里分裂
沉睡中缠绵清醒又幻灭

摇摇欲坠不只你的泪
嘲笑的风高唱着离别
不管还要等待多少年
穿越千年的眼泪
只有梦里看得见
我多想再见你哪怕一面
前世未了的眷恋
在我血液里分裂
沉睡中缠绵清醒又幻灭

2006-07-23T23:33:00.000+08:00

new beginning? teach me how...

counselling. been through so much of it recently. from so many people. bout the same issue..i know all of you care and i greatly appreciate it. but sometimes i really start to doubt myself that i really want to put down. i noe i have to. but it's not as easy to do.

never had i felt such rejection and pain. nvm. i've said this. and saying this doesnt help anything. jus confirm myself that wad i always said is not untrue. forget it. i don regret it.

this week has been tiring. lethargy jus overwhelms me. training. block tests. results. everything. cant help but think i have a phobia of IT already. not that i don want it. i think i'm tired already. the fear of wavering faith. the fear of abandon. the guit of severing. i don like it anymore. give me time pls. don ask me to sink into this again. not now. pls. i really dont want it. i only want to go back. forget it. it cant happen.

i asked you already and like i guessed, you din answer. perhaps you dont know how, perhaps you dont know how to put it across. perhaps. it's jus too hurtful to bear. i duno. i jus wish you wad you want. jiayou. don give up. everyone's behind you de.

at least i know i'll be.

2006-07-19T22:46:00.000+08:00

donation..

haha i went to donate blood yesterday. yea man. was quite scared actually.. but hmm. pain is transient. and i don think this kind of physical pain is anything now. not at this moment. hm. anyway it was fun. couldnt feel the needle at all cos of the ma zui thingy. all you can see is the blood flowing through. wanted to tell the nurse to take more. cos no point living le. haha. but my fren ask me don be stoopid. hm. i did a good deed:)

changed my blogskin. ya. din like the old one anymore. hmm..jus makes me feel worse. tdy's training wasn't exactly helpin actually. was reminded of many things. things i don want to face now. all those dreams and plans we had. dashed. but nvm. like i said. i wish you happiness. as long as you're happy. next year wushu competition. it wouldnt be the same anymore...

ok i shouldnt say more. or it'll happen again.

thanks to all that cared. i appreciate it. but not that i can help it. guess the fear. the pain. the phobia. it wouldnt be erased. things are different now. i'm alone. it's hard. i'm sorry. one qn i want so much to ask you. but i dont dare. cos i'm in no position anymore. no more. a nobody.
i miss you..and i still love you.

2006-07-16T23:45:00.000+08:00

it has ended...
wad i have given up for you
i have no regrets
cos i know i loved you
and i do
it's wrong for you to see this
but i don deny my feelings
perhaps he was right,
you're tired
i'm a burden
it's alright.
if this is wad you want
i give it to you
i don dare to love anymore
cos neva have i felt such lost
never
i love you
but you've never said it
and i don know anymore
this decision is so cruel
but
if it's wad you want,
i oblige
i'm empty.
i'm lost.
i want to die
end my life here.
leave me alone, world.

leave me alone, world of love.
for i'm not meant for it.
i cant love anymore
for i lost you

2006-07-16T18:56:00.000+08:00

numbing pain

i don want to love anymore

wad i feared has come true...
you have left me.
when i loved you so.

2006-07-10T20:54:00.000+08:00

heyhey.. so long neva blog le. haha. depressing days. hmm..

many things were (or rather are) going through my head now..sighs. mental turmoil. things that need time to solve yet time wouldnt be so kind to wait. it'll be bad to drag on. but yet it is the only way to reveal the truth. the only thing i can do now.

it has really took me alot of courage to make this decision. isolation. deprived. but endurance. hm. i jus want to know how you feel. wad i am. wad is future. you can say i think too much. but you're the reason i do so. i cant deny myself of my feelings. but sometimes i haf to face reality. i duno...

hopefully things wil be better soon? i cant really endure my present state. although i know you're there. but i cant help but feel lonely sometimes. hmm. i duno. some questions i really really wanna know. but i duno how to ask. argh. dilemma.

nvm. shall not talk anymore. spoil my mood. bleahx. haha. shall share some pick up lines fr wushu:)) and ways to tackle them.. haha

do you believe in love at first sight? or should i walk past you again?
yea..and this time, dont stop.

give it back!
give wad back?
my breath..

did it hurt?
wad??
when you fell from heaven..

havent i met you somewhere before?
ya..that's why i don go there anymore..

so baby, your house or mine?
both. you go to yours and i'll go to mine.

i want to give myself to you!!
i dont accept cheeap gifts (*ouch!)

love is cruel.. haha.

2006-06-30T23:55:00.000+08:00

blocks are over!!

phew...after wad seemed like years..blocks have finally ended. finally don have to force myself not to be online, not to watch tv, not to slack around...sobsob. it was so tough. don have to stay out and up late in the nite to study at macs and stuff and get harrassed by little kids. haha. yay. got a 5 day break straight! yea man.

hmm let me do an evaluation on my blocks den..

econs: ok la..not TOO bad. at least i know wad to write. but max also get D only. sigh.
gp: wrote a geog essay. duno can nots. can den can pass lor. but compre was bad...duno how to do.
phy: bad bad bad. i hate myself. how can i screw up my fav subj. ah! H3!!
math: ooo..i'm so proud of myself. seriously. neva done math for so long and finish so many qns in an exam before. more than wad i did for Os lor. wah. so proud of myself:)) but pass not still a doubt la haha. i only know i did but correct not..haha. that's a gd qn.
chem: bad..i think it's the worst man..i was practically half asleep. fail is confirm de. haiz.

ok i think i'll retain. oh man. but they say HC blocks are for selection for H3 ppl..so fail is norm. is it true? oh man. but my phy??!! argh. suan le. depressing. argh.

tdy went out whole day with lcpsk. haha. ok i know i'm like not part of it or anything. so hmm. hope i wasnt like intruding. haiz. din do much actually. haha. jus ate. drink. ALOT OF APPLE JUICE =x den watch a bit of green forest (green forest!!!!) watch them play bball. all so pro :S anyhow shoot also will get in de. so pro...

oh tdy also went to pei someone see doc. haiyo. nvm. shall not talk bout it. but you ah. so ham ji. wadeva it is. haha. lousy leh :P and hor. i mean it when i say i don like ppl to say that. and you still add on. i know got nth wrong actually. but i don like how ppl respond to that fact and talk about it. i really don like it.

haiz. so tired le now. all the blocks and stoopid stuff going on. argh. i guess learning how to put down is wad we all have to learn. i'm sorry. i know you wun see this but anyways sorry. you'll find the one one day de. don say you're not meant to love or be loved. friends. :)

bleahx. tired le. tml got syf opening ceremony. haha. go see ng cheeyang sing song. vip tix!! ooo. haha. i shall go off le. anw thx kh!! for the vcd. and kh's sis. haha. thx man. ok everyone. nites den:)

学习放下..

2006-06-27T17:11:00.000+08:00

I HAVE BEEN TAGGED .been asked to do a dumble thing but will do it in the name of fun

1.Do the following WITHOUT complains.
2.Choose 5 people to do this after you completed yours
3. Leave a tag on the person's tagboard to say he/she have been tagged
4. Start your post with "I have been tagged!" then do this

I HAVE BEEN TAGGED BY: WILSON =_=

Favourites
favourite colour: dark blue
favourite food: hello panda!! (is it a food?)
favourite song: lan man shou ji (most of all jay's songs:))
favourite movie: a walk to remember
favourite sport: sports? me?? haha...
favourite day of the week: saturday
favourite season: autumn
favourite ice-cream: chocolate and coffee de ba..

Currents
current mood: stonedd
current taste: huh?
current clothes: shirt and pants lor...
current deskstop: 1006 gals..
current toenail: o.O??
current time: 5.17pm ( i'm going to be late!)
current surroundings: mess
current annoyances: heh? i jus know i screwed my physics..
current thoughts: where are you..

First
first best friends: hweemin:) bethia
crush: stitch, haha..
first movie: i duno lehs
first lie: how to remb..
first music: i duno la

Lasts
last cigarette: do i look like i smoke?? >.<
last drink: choc milk
last car ride: this morn
last crush: 离开树的叶子( perhaps...)
last movie: ehh. i not stupid 2 lor haha.
last phone call: call a fren to ask how's physics..
last CD played: jay chou ba du kong jian

Have you ever
have you ever dated your best friend: huh wad you mean?
have you ever broken the law: huh wad law..no ba i guess, i very guai de:D
have you ever been arrested: no
have you ever skinny-dipped: o.o?? heh?
have you been on tv: dont think so..
have you ever kissed someone you don't know: nooo

things you are wearing: i thot say le.
things you done today: breathe. drink. eat. walk. sit....alot. and screw my phy.
things you can hear right now: ys's blog song
thing you do when you are bored: slack

5 people to tag? elainey. anna. leheng. ongsiyun. betheeaah. (haha..don scold me ahh>.<)

lol.. is jus some lame "game".. hope u try it out as well

2006-06-21T23:56:00.000+08:00

it's a small small world...

ahaha...jus had math tuition at toa payoh hdb hub. some math excel tuition centre.. went there earlier to eat dinner and stil ended up late cos we JUS ouldn't find the stoopid place. was super lost la. haiyo. so embarrassing.

SAW YONGSHENG THERE! and yes it's the aj tanyongsheng. haha. not the 2 hc yongshengs...wah the world really very small. i was about to step in the room le then this familiar voice called out "shermin!" and then i turned, o.O!! "yong sheng!!" haha.. so funny. then almost immediately we called wilson. with ys phone. haha. he sounds so shocked. think he thot call wrong no or sth. i say i'm shermin he took at least 10 secs to digest that phrase. hahahaha... :P told you to come don want. ayer.

math tuition was great. for once, i neva felt math lesson was so tiring and looong... and finally math is in english!! for so long i always felt it is in tamil or sth x_x un-understandable. haha. friday's one will be on sequences and series..think that one i'll die. haiya. today i realise my math foundation is real bad. there was this math question that i was stuck for quite a while, and i realise i actually know the math logic, and the prob actually is...i dont know wad is a ln curve..-.- sighh. so dumb of me. haha.

july still got math classes..should i still join? think i should lor. i need help :S haiz. lousy me... oh man i duno wad happened to me..i think i ate some wrong thing. diarrhoea..bleahx. keep going to the toilet... oh man. think i'm losing weight. which is a gd thing!! yea man.

ok i should go slp le..*yawn. i better mug as well...sighh. stomach ache >.< sob sob. i go slp le..nites everyone:))

2006-06-20T12:32:00.000+08:00

back from batam!!

hellos..finished my church camp ytd. was great...had a great time:) food was super nice la. oh man. i think i grew fatter. definitely de. did many things for the first time. haha.

i swam for the first time in many many years...oh man. and i mean many many years..after i realise how much fats i have..sobsob:( but i swam hoping to get rid of the tan line but wow...there was no sun..duno good news or not. sigh. went for the indonesian massage. had to take off everything (!!!) o.O me and anna were like struggling to keep the towels there. haha. or we'll see each other from head to toe le (!!) haha. apparently i hurt my right shoulder or sth. cos you're not suppose to feel pain when being massaged. my left shoulder was completely shuang, but right was horrigible. pain like crazy. was struggling la..

oh and i also went for "go-cart"..yaa. obviously i drive very the slowly la. the rest went 8 rounds and i went for 4! haha. waste money but was fun la. so nvm..hee.i was so scared i din even press the accelerator for many times, while the guys were practically stepping on it throughout. they were like spinning and skidding at each curb doing their fashionable turns and styles while i'm struggling to turn the steering wheel..sighh:(

the service there was excellent. and i really mean excellent. everywhere you go you see a smile on al their faces. they're really nice. yupp:) nice people..yay. we called for room service 5 times straight la. haha. oops we girls are jus so picky. but the guy came in with a smile always...he recognise us le lor. make frens le. haha.

actually this camp made me think alot. ponder bout the thing that is bothering me still. i endured alot for you. and i don even know if it is wad i want. talking to anna had helped quite a bit altho i din come with any conclusion or anything. but saying some things out helped. feel better. love you anna! at least i know the world is not void..i jus hope i get things clear soon. now that i see another shrouded cloud coming towards me...

well i should start studyin you know.. oh man. i'm so going to die. die die die. ok i should go le. cya everyone:)

i really tolerated alot this camp.
and i don even know if it is worth it.
is it?
pls tell me it is
if it's not,
let me know it soon, Lord.
//
wad are you thinking?
wad do you want?
you want me to tell you but how can i?
when i don see how this trust will work
i dont know how to treat you
i don want a wrong idea.
neither do i want to lose this.
non cada per me..

2006-06-15T12:14:00.000+08:00

fun before my leave...

sometimes you jus wonder wad on earth are they watching..watch until liddat. wah guys are jus so strange..we girls are totally disgusted by wad's showing on tv and they are jus so interested and mesmerized by it...diaos -.-" engrossed until we girls are taking photos of them they also dunno...sighh.

chalet was fun..altho not very exciting and adventurous cos the guys were busy playing their FF and wrestling. haha. but me and another girl (only got 2 girls btw...) jus took a walk along the beach.. talk talk. then we went to one of the rooms and enjoy ourself witing for the rest of the ppl to come..haha. slept on the big big beds. then best. kena scandaled. nvm..shall not talk bout it. WHY YOU WAKE UP AND LET HIM IN?? sigh..nvm. i wen xin wu kui jiu ke yi le.

i think the most bleah part was "truth or dare"..so sad la i kena. sob sob. of cos i took truth. cos i live openly lor. haha. then they ask some stoopid qn. so embarrassing. ayer. oh man. how can ask this kind of thing de:( suan le. wad i say is true anyway... xp

left the chalet at bout 1030pm. so late le...then my nice senior sent me all the way to woodlands. and he asked me a super strange qn. i don even get where that qn came from and how he gets that idea...strange. haha. quite interestin also la the qn..haha. my fren's boyfren was nice enough to send her home fr the mrt and called her to accompany her home on the phone..sigh. *envy*

i'm leaving for camp this fri. early in the morn..sighh. away from this land for 4 whole days. i guess i'll...i'll miss you. no, i know i will.. 4 days of total disconnection from the world here. sigh. how am i to survive. but at least im with church so i guess it wouldn't be as bad...i guess.. well mus go pack le. haiz. duno wad to say le. take care everyone and enjoy mugging.

hey darling i have 2 words for you:
i love you
why 2 words?
cos you and i are one..
if loving you is a crime,
then i'll be a criminal for life..
想念你会是个痛苦的事，只愿不是单方面的情义...

2006-06-12T17:35:00.000+08:00

dust and MORE DUST!!

>>> wushu guys trying to squeeze into their secondary school pe shirt >.<"

>>> wushu junk all over the floor outside. the aunty was giving us murderous stares...

oh my..jus had wushu spring cleaning. and we realise we were like sleeping on a dust desert for 6 months...goodness. you should see the dust in our hui suo. it's seriously acdesert. no exaggeration >.<> spot for at least 4 times to get rid of the dust. bleahx...

the whole corridor was filled with bing qi and comics and wushu junk. and i mean ALOT of comics. like 90 over of jue dai shuang jiao, 40 over KOF and many many of the dragon ball thing. ayer. and wad samurai thing. aiya. alot jiu dui le. haha. things that date back to the 1970s....wah..really ancient. everyone was half dead or rather dead by the time we cleared the dust. all kena lung cancer and suffocation. wahh...should have taken a photo of the desert...

hm...i think i'll take more to recover completely. guess i din really want to interact today so sorry for drifting away and stoning jus now...sighh.

oh anyway ytd's wushu grading was -.- sighh...did so horribly. was shaking la. stoopid. cos i could see pairs of eyes staring at me... cant take it:( but at least i passed la. we peeped at the score sheet. but din see my marks. ayer. nvm. don see better..depressing. the small kids all so cute. not very pro la but chao cute. but got one small girl. wah. chao pro. she do chang quan then i'm so amazed. din do ce kong fan but she did one hand. wah zai.

see all the small kids there so malu la. oh man. they keep "wah-ing" at our moves altho they are like jus nth de. so cuute..haha:)

>>> look at the small boyboys in front!!! ahh!! so cuuuuute. oh man. ok anyway that was a scary place

2006-06-11T18:34:00.000+08:00

i'm so sorry..

i think i really need to reflect on myself. perhaps you're right. i'm so sorry. but perhaps it's jus where i'm standing from. i have nothing le. you are all i have. i'm so sorry. i didn't know i'm making you tired. i din know i wasnt there for you. i'm so not worth it. i'm not..i'm so sorry. i'm so so sorry.

are you tired? i jus... i jus din want to experience it again. maybe i'm wrong. i'm sorry. if i didn't see that, i wouldn't know. i'm a failure. i have failed completely.

alot to say..but no one to talk to... i have failed.

2006-06-10T13:04:00.000+08:00

RIGIDO :(

ah!! this sunday's grading! oh man. i hope i don fail. should not be that bad as to fail right? oh man.. sniff sniff. i jus realise my si liu ma is wrong la. oh man. die..argh. and my pu bu is hopeless >.<" helpp.... die die die. and i haf to travel all the way to far far pasir ris myself.. oh no. i'm so scared la :S

oh anywayy, wad's today's date?? it's 10/06!! ooo...let's celebrate this grerat day. haha. but seems like no one realised. i saw the date on my phone and i was all excited. oops. haha. a bit crazy le. cos jus had breakfast with my dear helenlen:)) went to eat macs. then got disturbed by the stoopid curtain that flaps whenever someone opens the door. bleahx.

then we went to talk talk walk walk. bought rubber bands. but i couldnt find my water bottle lehs. sad:( i still like that billabong or that nike one. but hm...duno lehs. now helen knows that sun plaza is really not a shopping centre. haha. everything also don have. then she went to buy her click five cd. whoever they are. haha. i miss you helenlen!! loveya loads:))

oh anyway yesterday was a great great day. yea man. not the training part of cos. haha. altho i spotted my flaws before i face the judges. oh no. ok anyway ytd was great! yeah.. so long neva like that le. sob sob. nvm. anyway thanks for peiing me hor. hee. and your frens are so violent. so scary. woodlands got so many gong jiao ppl.. eeyer. hahaaa.

oh man! wad am i doing here?? i should be mugging. sigh.. wah the sky so black. mus go close windows le. and suffocate myself. haha. oh man i'm so crappy tdy. okok rain le. byee everyone!! take care and happy mugging:)

fare non caduta per a me...i mean it..pls dont

2006-06-08T12:19:00.000+08:00

ooo... a new skin. haha. not exactly very nice la i know. but the pic is like hm...i jus wish i could do that. but sigh. the world is cruel.

so many things happened la. past few days. but well...glad things are ok le. a misunderstanding ba i suppose. i duno. but everything normal then good le. that's all i want. oh and anyway thanks kah hwee...although i know you like blur blur bout wad happened..haha. jus thanks for like listening=)

woke up at an unearthly hour today in hope of crashing...plotted a great story to my parents and all fell apart by sone lazy pig..sighh. suan le. not the first time le anyway. so yaa.

nothing much to say actually. jus that i need to mug. seriously. but i cant seem to do so. bleahx. die die. i better stop thinking bout stuff and get down to work. sigh. cant help it laa.

2006-06-06T10:28:00.000+08:00

是现实的残酷
还是是我自己被私欲蒙骗
是我太心急？
还是你太被动？
我不要求奢侈
只期望单纯
我真的很想拿下眼前的蒙骗
但我宁愿自己继续睡下去
不要醒来
我不想面对现实
如果现实里没有你，
让我睡下去吧

2006-06-04T22:14:00.000+08:00

灰姑娘

听见别人提起你的名字
我就会脸红
一张有你合照的照片
看来看去都不厌倦
坐在寂寞了很久的窗前
不停地想念
从没有对谁的支字片语
可以读了好几百遍
像童话中的世界
如今出现在真实人生的眼前
再苦闷的时刻
也有彩虹
哪怕只是轻靠你的肩
像传说中的爱情
如今出现在真实人生的眼前
当你拥抱着我
轻轻地对我说
你会爱我到永远
我就像cinderella
等到了寻找我的他
爱情的的过程
总会有泪有挣扎
有你的温柔
我就什么都的不怕
我就像
等到了寻找我的他
等待你是我付出最甜蜜的代价
快乐的cinderella真爱得到了回答

i'm in love with this song..oh man. i'm serious. the lyrics are like..nice. but not exactly...haha. too nice to be true.

i'm having alot of thoughts running through my mind now. am i living in a delusion? a delusion that this is true. an illusion that this is wad i want...i duno. you make me think. whenever this happens i think. i'm not thinking too much. i'm serious. i'm not. i'm clear and sobre. but lost and confused.

perhaps i'm living in a delusion.

shermin was dead in sec 2. shermin poured her heart out to her. she told her all her thoughts. shermin was smiling always. cos she had nothing troubling her. all was told. but in sec 2, when she left, shermin died. she was lost. thrown alone in the world. she had no one to tell. from then i duno how to tell. i jus don know how. it's jus a fear. that someone would leave. that no one would understand. i don know how. it's not i want to think. and it's not becos i don want to tell. it's not cos i want to hide. but cos i dont know how. and i dont know who to tell.

you have evoked these emotions in me. my deepest feelings.

all i want is someone to stay by me. someone to listen. someone to understand. someone to love me. is this too much to ask for?? whyy?? why take her away? why take me away?

shermin doesnt know how to tell.

she jus dont know how.

why cant you be the one?

2006-06-02T23:08:00.000+08:00

刻骨铭心

yay i'm ok le:) no more fever!! yea man. sigh. if only i was well on the concert day. sigh sigh sigh. but i'm still drowned in phlegm :S my voice still sounds like i have blocked nose but in actual fact, i have blocked lungs. i'm serious. half my lung is like phlegm la. urgh. can feel it choking up. whenever i breathe is like i'll choke myself. so gan kor.

tdy got wushu training. din train for long cos i couldnt breathe. bleahx. feel like puking:( i think is the stoopid abtibiotics or sth. everything i eat has no taste de. super destroying my appetite. urgh. cant wait to finish it...make people feel so disgusted. bleah...

tml got wushu cip. go sell bookmarks. haha. hope can sell at least a few la. sighs. haha. cip hours...yeah. k la i got nth much to write le. been stoning at home for many days. tml shall start mugging! yea man i must! okok. jiayou everyone. buhbye.
where are you..i cant seem to find you.
take care YOU.i feel so helpless..this always happens.i duno wad to do.pls jus take care.

2006-05-31T08:47:00.000+08:00

>.<

bleahx. jus got scolded by my mummy for going out last night. sob..she was so fierce la. she say i grow up le. cannot control anymore. then very angry. sigh...i dunno wad to tell her lor. sigh. but she okay le la. brought me to see the doctor. then told me to walk home myself, saying that since i can go all the way to VCH, walking home should not be a problem...sighs. so i walk home lor.

now i got new medicine. so many la. all weird weird one. got one even causes gastric. like huh? where got medicine cause gastric de. wad to do. have to suffer to get well lor. sigh... apparently the doc say it's a stronger kind. so will like that. duno la.

anyway talking bout yesterday. haha. met wils to go cine to get the watch. it was a miracle i could actually walk out of my house with me at 39 deg..bleahs. but i don want to waste your efforts. and i've been looking forward for this day for so so long la. i will not let it go like that de! was feeling quite ok la. only sometimes will feel very sick. but nvm=) then we went to got the watch and realised we met too early. cos getting the watch only less than 10 secs. haha. then we rotted. stoned at the food court, waiting for kah hwee. then great...my mum called and ask why i so naughty, go out for concert. she ask me for my temp i said i duno. i knew that if i say 39 ah she'll ask me to go back immediately de. sigh.

actually if you ask me bout the concert i wun be able to tell you much. haha oops. honestly i wasnt really paying attention. but i watched the solos and the dancing part. haha ys so funny:) not bad sia..haha. kah hwee was sleeping and so was i. poor wils jus had to watch alone. hee sorryy...

then this guy beside me so funny..haha. he suddenly whispered to me "are you ok?? you look very sick..." haha. then i was like " haha, i'm ok la." so funny la. suddenly out of nowhere, i duno him, he duno me, then he jus ask. so nicee:)

sigh why is it not subsiding?? tsk. nvm. oh it's 9 le. phy tutorial and wushu training has started. sigh. nvm i shall mug at home. if i can. i feel like my eyes are popping out cos of the heat. bleahx. nvm. i shall try to finish my gp work tdy if possible.

buhbye everyone..take care and cya.

oh and you ah. drink more water. i don want spread to you. i'll die of guilt:(

2006-05-30T09:58:00.000+08:00

feeling terrible now...goodness. i hate it whenever i get fever...cant think properly. cant sit for long. cant slp. cant watch tv. cant do anything. so many things to do. yet i can only jus stone. super gan kor. nobody's at home. no one to talk to. no one around to keep my mind off the pain. but thanks junwen for caring.

later still got concert. sian. i wanted so badly to go and this happens at this GREAT time. i hate this. i really hate this. why mus this happen at this time? all the hopes i had for tonight. i hate this.

i take back wad i said. sorry.

2006-05-29T00:01:00.000+08:00

0306 class bbq!!

okok..i know that has like NOTHING to do with me but haha...i made myself extra and thickskinned by crashing it. oh man. sorry. hope you guys din hate me for doing that or sth. sorry :S i jus wanted to go. missed you all so much. and i wanted to go see helenlen and pass her the stoopid poster..wahaha. i'm so mean

went to hel's house to crash jus now. so paiseh. but okay la. jus hope they didn't mind. sigh. well basically nothing much happened. jus that me, hel and teng had girls' talk. talking bout alot of stuffs. haha. and i also learned lots of stuff too. sighs. anywayy it was great talking to them. i love ya two=) helenlen ah...tsk tsk. haha. teng also ah...hm... :)

then we got scared by cats and stuff. ayer. so scary. if those cats don come near me is okay de lor. but i get really :S when i see them coming towards me. bleahx >.<

then they decided to take a group photo of the class outing and ya...obviously i know my limits(according to someone), so i took the photo for them. i mean. i wun want to be in the photo right? as much as i want to. i don belong in the photo.

well then i had a lonely walk home cos SOMEONE is cruel enough to do so. hmph. sigh nvm la. i understand. sigh. it's ok=) luckily i managed to catch the last few trains or i'll die. haha. stuck at woodlands or sth. i then don want lehs. haha.

tml going to meet elainey for lunch then go for kite making cip. hope it wun be boring tho...bleah. but for the sake of cip. i must persevere! haha. well generally i had a great day. really really happy to see all of you all again. really miss those times. sigh. but i'm glad to see you all so happy. your happiness is my content:) so yupp. hope to see you all so happy and bonded...

diao. my mum is pms-ing. jus scolded me for nth. irritating. i better end now or she'll scream. bleah! sigh see you all then. take care..

i duno wad i'm afraid of...perhaps it's me i don haf faith in. but anyways i know how i feel. jus hope wad i fear is jus a fear. not the truth.

NEW BLOGGIE!!

2006-05-27T16:30:00.000+08:00

NEW BLOGGIE!!

haha this is like my first time using blogger. i have no idea how to use it though... hm.. but it's definitely easier to use than diaryland la. at least you don have to edit the template to fit the diaryland system. haha. can jus copy and paste. and wala! blog is done.

hm..but this entry is like so pink. bleahx. so not like me. but i like the skin. so i guess i jus have to respect the designer's decision in making it pink ba. haha. chatting on msn with my fren now. haha. all the way from america. so if i write rubbish, pls pardon me. hehe. talking bout not very happy stuff actualy...hm... jus realised we are both in the same plight. sigh.. this ---- thing can be such an irritating thing sometimes. sighhh...

i want to eat durian!!! ok that was random. but i really want to. anna say she ate alot alr and i havent even smelt one..sob:( but i cant eat now. cos tml mus solo :S bleahx. hope i don screw it up or something.

ok i should jus end here and concentrate on my convo. take care everyone!

oh ya, whoever that "chee yang" was ah...sigh. don impose other ppl la haiyo. i can see it's not the real one de lor. haha.

2006-05-27T16:25:00.000+08:00

HEIGHTS. FEAR. CONTENT=)

belay on?
on belay.
climbing.
climb on!

woohoo..jus finished my sabbaticals. it was great. i think it was fun. haha. altho i din even conquer a single wall. haha. oops. too high la. scaryy...

went for rock climibing sabbats ytd and tdy. haha. it wasn't as bad i thought it would. tiring. but fun. really train your arms and fingers. i ALMOST finished one wall. but i couldnt feel the rock so i looked down and whoa! i almost fainted in fear. so high. so i jus gave up. couldnt take it. siewfun xinyi and cheeyang were like screaming and screaming at me to not come down. but i couldnt la. bleahx. i jus couldnt. the fear. i jus cant ignore it. sighs.

then we tried harder ones. those that slants outwards. wah. tiring man. haha. at least i beat ng cheeyang lor. ha! ok i'm so mean. thsy say my physical state can bring me to the top. but it's the mental barrier that i cant overcome. sigh. it would take a lifetime for me to ever not be afraid of heights lor.

but it was really fun la. new experience. haha but tdy i refused to try out the absailing. I REFUSE TO! see the ladder i want to faint alr. oh man. so high.

anyway i'm so proud of myself:) haha.. i passed the rock climbing level one test. -claps- -jaw drops- "shermin? rock climbing? wad a joke" haha. well i did get it. ha!

hm nothing much abt sabbats le la. well i met ray agn ytd. but this time was more of on purpose. haha. really great to talk to you ray!! yupp:))

well today's rock climbing has lightened up my emotions alot. yea. feeling better le. guess i jus have to live day by day and be myself. anyway thanks junwen, thanks li bin. ya. thanks for listening:) i guess my life in HC is permenant. so i jus have to open my heart and accept and adapt. i jus hope you all know how i feel. ha..hopefully my nick can be changed.

looking forward to holidays..quite packed la but i really nid to make time to mug. oh man. i really really really really really really really really really really don want to fail anymore. so ya. buck up shermin!!

i shall end here then. take care everyone.

perhaps solitude isnt bad. but i cant. i cant live alone.